Episode 21 – ‘Buddy System’ OR ‘Getting Wood’

Need a sugar rush before you hit this analysis? Read the previous episodes analysis here!

3E6288E5-CA6D-4904-87C1-7975EA8DCCAC — ***When Luke says this he gets a pat on the back and a free meal, When I do it I get slapped with an AVO and my mugshot taken.***

Fasten your seatbelts. Tonight is a bumpy ride and you don’t want to be thrown from the vehicle. With all the talk this episode about who you might want to go to the end with, I thought it was about time we examined the potential Jury votes.

Below I have laid out the order of preference in which each member of the Jury will vote to win (for example, if Peter and Jerkicho were the final two. Jarrad would vote for Peter, however if Locky and Peter were final two, Jarrad would vote for Locky):

Jarrad: Ziggy, Locky, Peter, Tara, Jerkicho, Michelle
Anneliese: Ziggy, Locky, Peter, Michelle, Jerkicho, Tara
Henry: Locky, Ziggy, Jerkicho, Michelle, Peter, Tara
Tessa: Ziggy, Locky, Peter, Jerkicho, Michelle, Tara
Sarah: Jerkicho, Ziggy, Tara, Michelle, Peter, Locky
Luke: Jerkicho, Locky, Ziggy, Michelle, Peter, Tara
Jerkicho: Locky, Ziggy, Michelle, Peter, Tara
Locky: Ziggy, Jerkicho, Tara, Peter, Michelle
Michelle: Jerkicho, Locky, Peter, Ziggy, Tara
Peter: Ziggy, Jerkicho, Locky, Michelle, Tara
Tara: Ziggy, Peter, Michelle, Jerkicho, Locky
Ziggy: Locky, Jerkicho, Peter, Michelle, Tara

I have to say I don’t feel particularly confident with these rankings. I have no idea how well Peter and Jerkicho will argue their game in the final tribal, and there’s some people who I am uncertain about when it comes to how they will vote on the Jury (eg Jarrad and Ziggy). Let me know what you would change in the comments.

Based on these numbers, Tara can’t win. Michelle can only beat Tara. Peter can only beat Tara and Michelle. Jerkicho and Locky will beat each of these three, but will draw against each other (I don’t know what happens in a tie vote when it’s a final two, can anyone fill me in?). If Ziggy makes it to final two she will win.

The above might help guide us as we break down tonight’s episode.

A Big Annoying Thing

CB6A55F2-F028-4541-8B4A-7D6B3166D62E — ***I never get sick of watching this.***

I don’t want to spend too much time talking about what Tara did or didn’t do tonight (I don’t think I’ve ever cringed as much watching reality television as I did tonight, but I’ve never watched The Bachelor/ette) as she’s the only person that based on the above cannot win this game. I was surprised that she told Ziggy about moving against Locky. At first I put it down to her not having any idea about how to play this game. It turned out that Ziggy seemed to be receptive to the idea (‘seemed to be’, damn she’s hard to read) so the egg was on my face. My thinking was that once she had Luke and Jerkicho she only needed one other, and Peter or Michelle seemed to be more likely to follow that plan. Again, based on the above, IF there is a remote shot T-Bone could win, it could only be against Peter or Michelle, so it would make sense to bring one of those two guys in rather than the one other person who is ostensibly in an alliance with the person you are trying to remove. Whatever, I said I don’t want to talk too much T-Bone and I don’t. So I best just leave it there other than to briefly discuss her moral dilemma. I’m glad she took the lollies (of course she would), I would have done the same at this point in the game, though I did wonder if lollybreath would be hard to mask out there. Initially I couldn’t understand why she chose Ziggy to share with. Upon further consideration I understand why you might want to give sugar to the one person who has a shot at beating your target in an immunity challenge. I doubt that is what T-Bone was thinking though.

Michelle ‘n’ Man

1FCC4ADE-DAE4-4612-82B5-8A79BD372496 — ***‘A’ stands for ‘asking Peter what to do’***

Was taking out Luke the best move for Michelle and Peter tonight? It seemed that Michelle was just happy to go with the numbers, looking to Peter thoughout tribal for ani indication on which way he’d vote. My heart says no, I would have personally preferred to see Ziggy go over Luke. But my head says, I don’t know. I’m torn between taking the opportunity to remove an immunity threat (take out Ziggy), and, taking the opportunity to split up Jerkicho and Luke (such a strong pair are only going to become more powerful as the numbers dwindle). At this stage I’m leaning toward breaking up Luke and Jerkicho. In a game of ‘buddies’, if you can keep a strong two person alliance and break down other two-person alliances, you’re doing well. Disabling the Luke and Jerkicho alliance arguably puts Peter and Michelle in the strongest position in the game, numbers-wise. They will be of use when Locky and Ziggy go at each other next episode (admittedly a weak assumption, and given their history I wouldn’t be surprised if they continue to work together, I would still say unlikely though), so they should get through at least one more tribal. That puts them in the final five, they get one person with them and they’re in the final four. That’s a 50/50 shot of making the finale. I hope for their sake they can appreciate the power that they have at the moment, and wield it effectively.

A Straight Up Rascal

26512963-969D-4FBE-81DC-CBCC76EDAF1D — ***Still wiping off cookie crumbs…***

We are now staring down the barrel of a potential Jerkicho win. That’s how terrible this season has become. If you had told me at episode 9 or 10 (when did AK go?), that this would be our top 6, I would not have believed you. Well here we are, and I am not happy. I’ve always said that one of the things I love about Survivor is that there is no right or wrong way to play (despite my regular advice to the contrary), that the results justify the means, if you happen to win (Survivor is one of the few games where a player who comes second did not necessarily play a better game than the person who came third, or tenth). A winner has outplayed, outwitted, and outlasted everyone else, it doesn’t matter how they get there, they deserve to win. That’s the beauty of the Jury system. Having said all that, I am extremely disappointed in this top 6. Last season we lost our most deserving player at the time in Brooke, episode 21 as well. At least then we still had Flick for a couple of episodes. It has me questioning whether there is something about the Australian format that has us come to this situation, an underwhelming top 6. Let me know if you have any thoughts about flaws in the current format in the comments.

Back to the gameplay. Obviously without Luke, Jerkicho is vulnerable. I do see him as an immunity threat, I wonder if his opponents do too. For him now it’s important that he get rid of Ziggy and Locky ASAP, so he can win immunities into the final two. I would argue that for him to do that he needs to lose the next immunity, then side with the winner (assuming it is Locky or Ziggy) to vote against the loser. Let them do all the work, creating a bigger target for their back next tribal should they lose immunity. Unfortunately he really is a solid shot to win this game, if he can provide a solid argument at the final tribal. I’d love to talk at length here about Jerkicho’s use of metaphor at tribal. Not just in terms of entertainment, but from a strategic point of view, but it’s a longer discussion I’ll leave for another time.

Thinking it Through Logilocky

With Ziggy at most likely to win if she makes it to final two, it goes without saying that it behooves Locky to remove Ziggy ASAP. So should he have gone for Ziggy tonight instead of Luke? I don’t think so. By targeting Luke he damages Jerkicho’s power (the only other person who could possibly beat him) and can now use Jerkicho to help him remove Ziggy. Luke was also more likely than Ziggy to persuade Michelle to work their way. He still has a huge target on his back, and we know he’s not so well liked by T-Bone. I don’t know what his path to the final two looks like. I suspect that the first immunity he loses, he’s going home. If you see another way for him, lay it out for me below.

Zig in a Poke

***Actual footage of Ziggy looking for a buddy***

Unbeatable in the final two, Ziggy will have her work cut out for her to get there. I’m going to suggest a perhaps risky play for her, and that is to convince Locky or Jerkicho to take her to the end. While the above numbers suggest that she can beat these two, they are the riskiest opponents to go against. However, as arrogant as they are, they are also the people most likely to believe that they can beat her. I can’t see Michelle or Peter thinking they can beat her, and T-Bone has only just figured out what a goat is. Of course her best bet is to continue winning immunity, failing that, the above suggestion is as good as any. She should at least feel out whether it is feasible. If it’s clear that it’s not, move on to aligning with the other three to buy her a little time and hope that she at least wins immunities where it counts. Before I get off Zig I must mention how much I liked the way she framed to T-Bone what they should do once Locky won immunity. By framing the play by saying they need to keep around people who could beat Locky in immunity challenges, she leveraged T-Bone’s distaste for Locky while simultaneously protecting herself. It was sweeter than a jar of party mix.

Aloha Luke

1C117255-708F-4053-9A57-9DE587001C76 — ***He’s certainly going all the way somewhere***

I know I maligned his strategy last episode, to use a friend’s line, it was ‘short-sighted and simplistic’, but it got him to the point where he was the most deserving player left in the game, which is probably why he went. Was there much he could do to save himself? I’m sure many will argue that leaving Michelle out of the loop is what saw him go home tonight. I would disagree. I think that he just didn’t work her hard enough after doing so. And I did love the way he and Jerkicho made T-Bone feel like it was her big move to take out Locky. I’m sad to see him go. He was damn entertaining. Because of him I’ll never be able to ask people how to spell their names at tribal council (that was a joke I was saving for if I ever played), the bastard.

Remember that US Survivor starts Thursday. Online on 9Now from 3pm, or watch on free to air television at 7:30. I’m looking forward to a fun season. Until next week, I got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Russell Feathers needs your help, especially if you’re an aspie. Do you have a knack for finding typos, spelling, or other grammatical errors? Do you love pointing them out? If you’re one of these hotshit people and have found anything above, please let me know here! (Neurotypicals not excluded)

Tara’s getting better at impressions, this is her ‘drunk football playing moth’

Episode 18 – ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’ OR ‘Bubbly O’Riley’*

Consensus is never the real fact, and Survivor ain’t Survivor unless you’re up to date with Drop Your Buffs! Check out last night’s analysis here.

***Clinking the ‘air’ champagne glasses…***

As a blogger I hate it when Survivor goes to three nights a week. Damn Channel Ten, give a man a chance to sleep. And there was so much going on tonight that I’m sure this will be a long one. But these last two episodes have made it worth it. Two very, very entertaining episodes. Not only were they choc full of meaty strategy, they were full of laugh out loud moments. Particularly when Jerkicho is involved. It’s true, I love to hate him. It will be sad to see him go. Though I expect not as sad as seeing Zenry go tonight.

Behind Blue Eyes

All good things come to an end. Certainly our mate has made some genius moves, but has also made some questionable ones. What did Zenry do wrong tonight? Well I would argue that he did nothing wrong this episode. Tonight he was just outplayed, by a tribe working in unison to deceive and not tip their hand. However the roots of this downfall arguably lay in his telling Anneliese he had an idol way back when he moved to Samatau. At the time I thought this was not smart. That it was a late night moment of weakness. I’ve always said that it can be wise to share an idol with someone if you want to solidify a bond. But telling Anneliese this, seemingly in an attempt just to get anyone and everyone on his side, I thought was risky. And then moving against her after having given her this information was not wise. If you’re going to share that information with someone to form a bond, then keep your bond. Only do it if it’s someone that you want to play with long-term, and I don’t think that he had that in mind when he told Anneliese.

*Stoking the fire while fanning the flames..*

I was shocked to hear that Michelle knew of his idol and wondered if I’d missed something. Then when it was revealed that Anneliese had told Sarah, the penny dropped. When did that happen? Were we the audience aware of this already? Please fill me in below if that’s the case. It also means that Sarah told Michelle. When did THAT happen?!?! Have there been conversations that I have totally missed?!?! Or is Channel Ten just keeping some important conversations from us to make the game more surprising for viewers, and commentators like me, later? If that’s the case, I’m not sure I like it. Survivor has never kept from us who had the idols and who knew (other than episode 2 this season, where it was kind of the point of the episode, and an anti-climax). Regardless, that Sarah knew and told Michelle reveals so much. At merge we did not know the old Asaga dynamic at all, and as the Two previous episodes have focused on Samatau and the big players, I wasn’t sure where Luke, Jerkicho, Michelle, and Sarah stood and what their game plan was (or is it just that I’m obtuse?). We now know that they are working together, for the moment. And that the Cookie Alliance was not a voting block, or at least not with Zenry. Clearly Sarah, Luke, and Jerkicho are strong right now. And Sarah had a killer night tonight.

Who Are You?

***Sarah, Michelle, Fella (see what I did there?)***

That Sarah could trick Zenry into thinking that she was pissed about losing reward (her line “an act to create visible distance between Tess and myself” is pure Survivor poetry), and then play it so cool at tribal, reinforcing to Zenry that she will vote the easy option… Masterclass! If modeling falls through for Sarah, she should give acting a shot. Her manipulation of Jerkicho was delicious. Sweeter than jam on a cookie, chased with champagne.
Incidentally I did really love the imagery of seeing Zenry stoke the fire while he was trying to inflame Sarah’s bitterness of being left out of the Champagne reward.
I hate to say this because it looks like I’m just floating from favourite to favourite here, and while we haven’t seen her be quite this tactical and manipulative before, I think we always suspected she had it in her, and is now in a great position. Especially as it doesn’t at all look like this was her move. To others it looks like this move was orchestrated by Luke, Tess, and Michelle. If she makes it to final tribal it would behoove her to convince the jury that she was behind the move to get Zenry out. But for now she can let everyone think that it was the others. Stay under the radar, and let the threats take the heat. If she really has Michelle in her pocket she needs to keep her there, because Luke and Jerkicho aren’t going to stick with Sarah once their backs are against the wall. If she can also cultivate a relationship with T-Bone, I think she will come in useful for Sarah in the future. I have been high on Sarah here, but I need to give Tess some credit too.

(Pin)Ball Wizard

***I was hoping the jam on those breakfast eclairs brought back talk of #jamgate***

Great job winning immunity Tessa. I’m not even going to make a ball joke. Great job with your pick for reward companion. You said it yourself, Michelle is an emotional voter. If you didn’t know that before the previous episode, I’m glad that you’ve learnt that now. More on the auction later, I will quickly say now how hard it is under pressure to pick a reward companion. She couldn’t have chosen much better tonight. I wonder if that was her plan once the auction started. Where to for Tess now? Great question. In some ways I think she was lucky tonight that the old Asaga alliance had the same target she did. I don’t think she’ll be so lucky in future. What to do though with this knowledge that old Asaga want the big players out? Two options; continue to work with old Asaga to take them out of the game buying you at least two tribals, or work with Ziggy and Locky to keep them around as a shield. Which of these is better for Tess long term? At the moment my head is saying Ziggy needs to go sooner rather than later. With an immunity idol under her belt (is Locky the only other one that knows this?), and being stronger and more likeable than Locky, she is a way bigger threat. I would be doing whatever I could to get her out of the game as soon as possible. For Tessa she needs to find a way to do it that doesn’t perpetuate the idea in Locky that Tessa is gunning for them. I suggest use Michelle again. Michelle already mentioned during champagne alliance night that Locky was second on her list. Just nudge her a little, and stay out of the firing line. If she gets the chance to do so surreptitiously she should try and convince Locky that she is with him. Vote with him two or three tribals from now to remove Sarah or Luke, then flip back to work with Jerkicho and Michelle to get through to the end. Though I can’t see either Jerkicho or Michelle winning this game, I do wonder what they should be doing to get as far as they can.

Gimme Shelter (I know, it’s not The Who, but it’s close, and fits our episode)

***Is it wrong to get someone drunk on Survivor to find out who has the idol?***

I mentioned above that Michelle will likely be influenced by Tessa and gun for Locky now. Is that the right move for her though? If Locky were smart he’d do the same as Tess and try and take her under his wing. She’s already shown him that she will follow him (the Anneliese vote) if she feels lost. So if we suppose that Locky and Tess are her two options, which way is best for her? I feel like this requires more thinking than I have in me tonight. Especially if we throw Sarah into the mix. My first instinct is that both Sarah and Tess will see her value as a goat and are more likely to use her to get to the end and potentially take her with them. Locky on the other hand is too tight with Ziggy, and much more likely to throw Michelle under the balls when it suits him, preferring to take T-Bone to the end. So Michelle should go with both Tess and Sarah until they target one another, and reassess then.

The Kid’s All Right (well, not really but I’m running out of The Who songs here)

***🎵…but my mum won’t admit it…🎵 (some The Who cuts are deeper than others)***

I’ve said in previous posts that Jerkicho won’t win. I stand by that. There’s still value in considering his options though. Sticking with Luke seems a no-brainer, I see no reason at this stage to suggest turning on that alliance. If I know Jerkicho (and I don’t) I think he’ll actually do just that pretty soon. I do suggest doing it before the end as he’ll never beat him at final tribal. Jerkicho’s only bet to win is to go against Tara or Michelle (or maybe even Peter) at final tribal. His only way to get there is to stay strong with Luke. Take out Ziggy ASAP. Then work towards getting Tess or Pete out, then move against Sarah before she tries to split you and Luke up. From there you need to get the lay of the land with where Locky is and where Tess or Pete is, and move whichever way is going to get yourself and Luke closer to a final four with Tara and Michelle. This is the plan for Luke too, however Luke isn’t quite as limited as to who he can beat in a final two and therefore doesn’t have quite as narrow a path to the end.

My Generation

This game seems to be changing so much from episode to episode. Last episode it looked that Locky and Ziggy were in a powerful position. At that point we didn’t know that old Asaga were so tight. We know better now and, it’s clear that Locky and Ziggy are now in a sticky situation. I suggest they have two options from here; attempt to align with Pete and Tess (and T-Bone) giving them the numbers to take out old Asaga, or try and convince old Asaga that Tess is a bigger threat than they are. Both of these options will only get them so far and the reality is that the rest of the tribe will want to split the two of them up. I think they should stick together if they continue to win immunity, after that the best bet is for each of them to try and remove the other the first chance they get. Neither will take the other to the final two, and either of them is a shot to win the final immunity challenge, so it’s too risky to take the other even to the final three.

Sub-sti-tute! My Cash For Food

I love Auction and this is one of the most fun, and most perplexing, I’ve witnessed. Firstly, the twist. Great! Provided a lot of fun watching Luke take all that food, and other advantage. Also has the effect of motivating future players to bid early rather than hold on to their cash waiting for idols/advantages/home and family contact. Speaking of home contact, I was surprised that we had this so soon after letters from home, but I wasn’t complaining. It had me bawling as usual. I watched the episode twice and was sobbing both times. I suspect that if I ever get to play the game, as much as I think I’d want to stay strong and hold out bidding until an advantage or idol clue or something comes up (depending on how comfortable I feel), I just know that the second a phone call is mentioned I couldn’t help myself. I would be all in. All chips on the table. What I do wonder is which is the better advantage; the challenge advantage, or the reward meal/night with guests? Both options have pros and cons. I really am bum-puzzled about which is the more beneficial. What would you pick and why? Let me know in the comments. I was surprised no one seemed to be looking for idols or clues on their night away. I thought for sure there’d be at least a clue there after two were played the night before. This time last year in the same reward there was no idol or clue so that seems to be a pattern for us here in Australia.

What Zenry did was part of the game. What Jerkicho did here was just spiteful and malicious.

I was perplexed by those who players who didn’t bid on food. I expected they were therefore waiting for advantage or home/family contact. Why did they not bid as high as they could out of the gate when those things came up? Maybe they were not that familiar with how the auction worked. I’m not sure how I feel about the drawing rocks solution to multiple max bids. Usually it’s first in with a max bid gets the spoils. That one person could lose all their money and not get anything, even when they knew what they were bidding on, seems unfair on the face of it. I’ll let my thinking on this gestate for a little before I make up my mind though. What are your thoughts? I can’t finish this post and this section on the auction without taking the opportunity to once again underline an instance of Jerkicho being a jerk. Making Tess work for her reward when he could never outbid her. We know who the real ‘Mothertrucker is tonight’. What Zenry did was playing the game. What Jerkicho did here was just spiteful and malicious. Just a jerk, jerk move. It made me feel better when he made like George W. Bush and stuffed up the ‘fool me once…’ adage…

And now, I can finally get some sleep. Three nights a week is a killer. Four next week if Aus Survivor is three nights again and you count US Survivor. As much as I’d love to there’s no way I can post about US Survivor as well as Australian. That would almost be a full-time job! And I’m afraid I’m not in a position where burley men in baseball caps give me envelopes of money with which to buy food. I have to actually work for my money.

One thing I will take time to write about though, hopefully before the end of the season, is an entire post on Henry’s game. I’d really love to take the time to break down all of the moves he made and see where the value is and what to avoid. Even though he didn’t get to the end, I’m not convinced that his flip to Samatau was a bad move. He threw so much at the game there’s a lot to chew on and I think it will be an interesting exercise. Tell me what you think and stay tuned. Until next week, I got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

*You may or may not have noticed that this post is full of links to songs by The Who (and one by The Rolling Stones). Did you find them all?! Unfortunately I couldn’t add links to the references in the title so here they are: ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again‘, ‘Bubbly O’Riley‘.

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Episode 17 – ‘Cookie Alliance Rides Again’ OR ‘Where’s the Jam? Scone by Daylight’

Don’t get caught saying the ‘F’ word, get the lowdown on the lead up to this episode by checking out the previous analysis here!

***Just after this T-Bone literally said “if somebody flops a bit, it’s dangerous”. That’s what my ex-wife used to say too…***

Welcome to one of the most entertaining episodes this season. From hijinx to strategy this episode had it all. Let’s not waste time in the preamble, let’s get straight into the biggest talking point.

Wish In One Hand, Dirt In The Other

Holy shit!! Was this the first time we have ever seen anybody get the same idol twice? This was delicious television. More importantly, it was great social and strategic gameplay from Zenry. Having given Jerkicho the clue, there was always going to be the risk that Jerkicho (and therefore others at old Asaga) thought that Zenry had kept the idol for himself. What he has pulled off here is nothing short of inspired. This negates the effect of any suspicion while strengthening the bond they have. Pure genius.
After Jerkicho’s sneaky underlining of Jarrad’s name last episode, this is exactly what this viewer needed to see. Egg on Jerkicho’s face. The other thing that was on Jerkicho’s face, was Jam.

Conserving Your Energy (you read that correctly, I went there)

***Even to a self-professed Luke/Jerkicho detractor, this scene was finger-lickin good***

For those who’ve read me analysis before, I’ve often pondered whether the stealing of the food is worth the risk. Usually I’ve sided the way of, if you’re reasonably certain you can get away with it, and you are a good liar, then go for it. I’m a terrible liar, so for me to do it I would need to make sure that nobody even knew it was gone. The Cookie Alliance (sans Sarah) were all over this like the CWA on a scone. I suspect that Jerkicho and Luke’s motivation was just to have some cheeky fun. For Zenry, it was all about continuing to strengthen the bond with the guys. He also was quick to see the value in letting it become the annoying mosquito at the BBQ. Let this controversy get stuck in the craw of those galahs who are still scrambling to find their footing post merge. He didn’t stoke the fire, he didn’t need to, but he was more than happy to let it keep burning. Would he have decided to eat the jam by himself? Unlikely, he has too much to lose. If they were discovered he has two other jokers who can share the load of the rest of the tribe’s ire. I guess the risk though is that it outs them as a strong alliance. I guess one could always argue say that it was just about the food. I guess I should probably get away from background gameplay now and actually start discussing the immediate gameplay and it’s outcome.

Faking My Harlequin

Firstly, I don’t really think of Anneliese as a ‘harlequin’, I just wanted to take the opportunity to throw in a Robert Pollard reference (rock out here). Back to the game, and specifically Anneliese’s game. I have to say I’m really sad to see her go. I also feel that I deserve egg on my face after being so high on her position in the previous episode’s analysis. In my defence, there were a number of things we didn’t know. Primarily, her relationship with Locky and Zenry. Previous post I asked why Locky and Zenry left Anneliese out of the Jarrad vote. What it seems like actually happened, was that they did approach her, and she chose not to vote with them. This appear to be her fatal mistake. I’ve been going over and over in my head whether I had known this information yesterday I would have advised her to work with Locky and Zenry, or stick with Samatau. Unfortunately I can’t un-know knowing that she went home tonight, and so there’s no way I can objectively say what I would have suggested in that situation. This is why I love Survivor so much, it’s such a dynamic game. It’s also what frustrates me about watching it. That I’m not there playing it with them.

Before I get off Anneliese I need to talk about the fake conversation. When Locky asked Anneliese if he could have his idol, my first thought was that she should absolutely tell him that she would play it for him at tribal. We sure as hell know from her POV that this is a fake conversation, we don’t know that Locky feels the same way though. I suspect that Locky is so wrapped up in his own ego that he could not help but believe that were it offered to him. It was at least worth a try. If she’s not worried about losing his vote, there’s no reason not to lie to him in this way. If it didn’t have any effect on his plans, it would not have negatively impacted her game any further. It may have been just enough to placate him a little and perhaps we would not have ended up in a situation where Ziggy felt that it would be necessary to play her Super-Idol. Speaking of Ziggy, I feel somewhat responsible for tonight’s outcome.

Devilish Handling of an Idol Play Thing

***“I’d like to walk like a supermodel please”***

You may remember that in the previous analysis I suggested that the best move from Ziggy would be to align with Locky. Obviously she reads my shit. So obviously I think this was the right move for Ziggy. Some may argue that it was a waste of a Super-Idol. That it should be saved for a greater threat later in the game, and when her neck is on the chopping block. I disagree. I think the Super-Idol was a burden, and to get rid of it in a way that solidifies a bond when you need one is a great way to play. Quick clarification if anyone can help me out. Is Ziggy still left with a regular idol? I was confused when the Super-Idol was introduced, I wasn’t sure if it had the power tonight, plus regular idol power, and whether these two powers had to be used in the same tribal or not. If you know, fill me in in the comments. Regardless, old Samatau was a sinking boat. She didn’t really have a choice but to flip. This is however going to make things interesting within the new majority. Zenry has already made his feelings for Ziggy known, so it’s only a matter of time that he goes for her. From here she is going to have to find a new target, one that Locky can get behind. Likely Michelle. Given that Tessa is probably going to vote that way too, it makes sense to me.

Let’s Tess-ellate

***“Scratch that, what’s the singular of ‘friends’?”***

I can’t recall whether it was Tessa or Pete that turned to the other post eviction and said something along the lines of “guess it’s just me and you now”. It’s sad. I’m a big Tess fan and she is really up against it now. In the previous analysis I suggested that Tessa should, and probably would, find a trouble-maker to throw under the balls. For now she needs to identify who that person is that people think is dodgy AF, and systematically gather up all the shade she can throw it their way. I suspect that person will be Michelle. I’m hoping it’s Jerkicho or T-Bone (incidentally did anyone else think it ironic when T-Bone said “`it’s been too easy” after (seemingly) sitting by the fire all day while everyone else scrambled and maneuvered to push through the game). It could even be Sarah. I know I haven’t touched on old Asaga much this episode, we didn’t see much of them. But one thing is for sure, they can only stay out of the shadows for so long, especially with Tess looking to get herself out of a sticky situation. Perhaps there is the clue for who she needs to target. Those with sticky (jam covered) fingers.

Keep #jamgate alive!!!! Until tomorrow, I’ve got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Episode 15 – ‘One Night Stand’ OR ‘Gang of Four’

Don’t let there be any big surprises at this tribal (ffs how many times did J-LaP ask about that tonight?), check the previous episode’s analysis here!

I don’t understand what these people on Asaga are doing. Am I obtuse? Do I not understand this game at all? Perhaps there was a lot here that we didn’t see or was edited out. I’m not saying I disagree with the choice to take out Odette, I just don’t understand people’s justifications. Particularly with T-Bone still in the mix(ed grill).

Anyway let’s make like Luke in the jungle and search for some meaning in all of this.

Unhappy Family

***TFW there’s more letters in your tribe name than members of your tribe***

Before I get into individual gameplay I have to say how shocked I was at the amount of strategy disclosed during tribal tonight. Everybody sitting on the log tonight seemed more than happy to tell J-LaP, and thus the rest of the tribe, what their game plan was going forward. Not even in a fake-out way to trick Odette. I guess that tells us that this group of people are pretty much exhausted and done working with one another, or completely comfortable with one another (which I really can’t believe). I can’t see any other justification short of sheer stupidity, or at the very least, poor cognizance that this disclosure could actually work against them. It’s not very often that I make solid predictions, but contrary to Odette’s opinion I have to believe that none of these people can win this game.

Free(d) Agent

There’s not much to say about Odette that I haven’t said before. Floating can only work for so long. I know there’s people out there that thought that this floating, much like Kristie’s last season, could take her all the way. The difference between Odette and Kristie is that Kristie actually did make strategic decisions about where she would float to. Odette’s strategy on the other hand seemed to be to just vote with the majority every time. And given she didn’t know what the majority was, that it seemed to come down to her, she couldn’t make an actual decision. She even went as far as saying that she would toss a coin, and I don’t think she was just saying that. I get the impression that if there was a coin on island she would have done that. And when she told camp (I’m not sure who was there exactly, if you know leave a comment below) that she would do that I was shocked. That sort of behaviour has never worked in Survivor. It didn’t work for Sean back in the very first season of US Survivor almost twenty years ago, just like it didn’t work for Barry last year. We suspected all along that Odette really didn’t understand this game, last episode she showed that she had no idea what the phrase ‘swing vote’ really meant, that you have the power to swing the vote your way. Again she had that power tonight and completely squandered it. Anybody who knows anything about how to play this game would take the opportunity to analyse what they can do with that power, not just for tonight’s vote but for their future game, and maneuver accordingly. You know what, y’all know this stuff, I’m not going to go on talking about what she did wrong. It’s all very obvious to even the johnniest of come-latelies. She seems like a really lovely person who I’d love to get to know, but Survivor is not her bag, at least not this season. I’d love to see her come back and play again having (hopefully) learned more about how to play this great game. T-Bone on the other hand…

River Dunce

***🎵…flippie to the flippie, to the flip, flip, flop, and you don’t stop a rock it, to the bang, bang boogie…🎵***

I should preface this next section by acknowledging the possibility that my personal preference or otherwise toward Tara as a person could cloud my strategic view. I suspect that were I on island with Tara, she and I would not get along. I find her irksome and I cringe whenever I see her onscreen. So it’s possible that the following is more a reflection of my distaste for her than my disrespect of her game and where she stands in the game dynamic.
Why was T-Bone not the easy vote tonight? I would argue that she’s a greater threat than Odette post merge. She is just as unpredictable as Odette if not more-so. And she has ties to Samatau. Could they be looking at her as a goat? She is a very risky goat. Likely to flip (and flop) at a moment’s notice. Why her name did not come up tonight (or at least we didn’t see it) has me completely bum-puzzled. Having said that, she now is in a good position to get as far as her personality and gameplay allow her. Which way should she be going post-merge? Well she has to assess her options. We don’t know exactly what her old Samatau friends; Locky, Anneliese, and even Pirate Petey think about working with her. One would assume Locky would take whatever alliance is going at the moment. She needs to suss this out and let the big, noise-making players take the heat while she finds her path.

Model Prisoner in the Five-Senses Realm

***Sarah – “Perhaps you shouldn’t be such a jerk then jerk”***

I mentioned in my last analysis, and previously in the series, that Sarah needs a wingman, and that wingman should be Odette. While I do feel that riding this trio train (plus the T-Bone caboose) into merge station is safer than shuffling in as part of an Asaga divided, I stand by the decision that she needs a wingman. Perhaps she sees Pirate Petey as that wingman. Good luck if that’s the case. The foursome she is riding in with will only stay together for so long, and I’ve no doubt she knows that. Having Odette loyally by her side (if of course Odette could have ever been convinced to be loyal and join a strong twosome) would have helped her ride the storm once Jerkicho and Luke inevitably decided to sever ties. I do agree with her however that tonight was not the night to try and lose Luke. So notwithstanding that I think it was better to get rid of T-Bone than Odette, if she had tried to lose Luke, then the risk was too strong that this could backfire and put her back in the immediate firing line. Much better that she let him go to merge as her shield, as he now looks to Samatau that he was running the show in Asaga. She can keep that shield for as long as works for her while she finds another path to the end with the other players. I shouldn’t dismiss the strategic possibility of actually really joining Luke and Jerkicho as a solid threesome to the end. While I’d like to think that this option should remain open for strategic reasons, the reality is that there is too much animosity between them for that to occur.

Circle Jerk

***I thought “A-game to the A-frame” was the worst J-LaPism I’d ever heard until he followed it a minute later with “near the end of the limit!”….so you mean, like, the ‘limit’???***

Firstly, what is it with Jerkicho and his war metaphors? Fuggin christianity… Anyway, I do have to give credit to Jerkicho for a few things today. His performance in the challenge was nothing short of powerful. Well done. Also well done for the way he made Odette feel comfortable about the impending vote. For a while there, I wasn’t sure what he was doing, I thought he was putting a target on his own back by so openly strategising with Odette directly after his alliance had all seemingly agreed Odette was the target. I suspect there was a conversation there amongst the foursome that we did not see. That it was agreed that Jerkicho should go and talk to O to make her feel comfortable. Other than that I don’t think I saw anything from Jerkicho that interested me.

**“Clearing out the forest” – actual footage of Luke trimming his pubes again**

Same goes for Luke. Again, I agree that it was time to set enmity aside and take out Odette as an easy vote, rather than raise Sarah’s hackles and consequently raise the risk that he could go tonight, and hope they’ll merge shortly. I’m unsure whether it is better for him to keep T-Bone over Odette. Is it possible that he still thinks that he can sway Tara? I can see that he would be arrogant enough to think so. For him I suspect it was six of one and half a dozen of the other. He’s not interested in either long term. From here though, with a merge on the horizon, it might be time to turn on the charm offensive and try his luck as a number with either of he Samatau alliances. Either way it will be interesting to see just what happens for him during the merge, particularly what happens between he and Zenry, given Zenry is in a weak position within his Samatau homies.

That will do for tonight. Overall this was a somewhat boring episode, but when it comes to ‘reality tv’ they can’t all be staggeringly stupendous. Until merge Sunday, I got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Episode 10 – ‘Kiss Off’ OR ‘Death of Superman’

Don’t get caught at the gun fight with nought but a knife. Arm yourself with the previous episode analysis here!

Goodbye to everybody’s favourite middle-aged white CFO, The Kentster. We had some fun with him but ultimately he didn’t do enough to keep himself in the game any longer. Just how did he fall from the dizzying heights from which he once soared? Let’s make like Jerkicho at an ice-cream parlour and stuff our face with the goodness.

Bearly There.

***“If you look around and don’t see the dickhead, you’re it”***

It might have been too much of a case of once bitten twice shy for Kent. Who, having unsuccessfully done a fair amount of wheeling and dealing last episode, mixed up his tactics and tried something new by ‘setting up shop’. In its self this is not necessarily a bad strategy, but it doesn’t usually work when your balls are on the chopping block. That tactic works best when you’re in a swing position, and people want to use you to swing things in their favour. Could one argue that had he not done this, and had instead taken a more active role in positioning himself and campaigning another option he would not have gone home? Probably not, but this tactic of his was symptomatic of the way he alienated himself post Jacqui’s departure (and what was the deal with sitting out of the reward challenge? Anybody know what happened there?). I said in the last episode analysis that it would behoove him to try and form a relationship T&A (T-Bone and Anneliese). I guess the other problem he had that, while it didn’t actively work against him, it did nothing to help, was his bond with Odette.

Dreadlocks on Holiday

If one were to say Kent did nothing to save himself, then Odette is somehow doing less than nothing. Seemingly now left with no Kent to stand on, what can she possibly do to continue in this game? Well here is a situation where it could be argued that she is in the middle, if she can see it. It very much looks like there is now a tribe split at Asaga, with Luke, Jerkicho, and Michelle a trust cluster and, Tara, Anneliese, and Sarah a trust cluster. Students of Survivor will note that here with seven left in the tribe, people are going to want to start making moves. I feel she really can sit back and let people come to her. I’m not sure at this stage which side she should then pick. There are pros and cons both ways. My gut feeling is take out Tara/Anneliese or Sarah as they would most likely ditch her once they could, whereas Luke, Jerkicho and Michelle will want to use her to get rid of Henry. This of course would involve her letting them know that she never had ties with Henry, or that any ties she did have are dead. Either way, she needs to take some time to hear the pitches of her tribemates, and sooner rather than later so she has some time to make the best move for her. Speaking of Tara.

Simple Simple Simple

While I have to give it to T-Bone for actually being pro-active this episode, and considering options by approaching others. Unfortunatley for her all that energy was completely undermined by the way she actually did it. The amount of times she said “I think” rather than asking people what they want to do, underscores her complete lack of understanding of the social aspects of the game. Luke and Michelle said it best when they said something to the effect of “you’ve been here two minutes and you think you can start telling us what to do?!?!” and “just do what we tell you to do and we’ll know we can trust you” respectively. All she did by telling everyone what her plans were was put a big sign on her head that said STRATEGIST. Zenry may be the one playing board games on island but at this stage you’d have to say T-Bone’s quest to make it to the end of this game truly is a Trivial Pursuit. Anneliese on the other hand…

T-Bone’s Wing-(Wo)Man

***When J-LaP asks if anyone has an idol…***

Anneliese played much more subtly. I’m not sure where I stand on her thinking getting Sarah involved to get the idol. Certainly from a viewer POV it’s the right move, so hopefully for her she has the tribe awareness to see what’s going on at Asaga. Sarah is the one looking for a wingman, she’s most certainly the right person to approach. So whether that move was accident or design, well done A. Incidentally, since when does a tribe have two idols? In my thinking Zenry has the Asaga idol. I guess when you’re production you just fiddle with the format to suit yourself. Have we seen it happen like this before (let me know in the comments). Also, what the hell was with J-LaP telling us the trolley’s had square wheels? Does he know what a square looks like? Is anything that’s not a circle a square to him? This reminded me very much of him telling us in episode 4 last season that Vavau were “half-swimming/half-running, just like dolphins”. J-LaP, you crack me up!
Anyway back to Anneliese, where to from here? DON’T TELL TARA YOU HAVE THE IDOL! Let her keep running her mouth so that if and when your alliance is targeted, she’s voted out before you. That’s step number one. Second, now that you’ve got Sarah, ask her what she wants to do, and do it. Let her be the meat-shield in your alliance. That trio is a pretty good fit for you right now. You can make it look like you’re the follower in that alliance, but you have the idol, and with it, the power. Just keep Sarah close so she doesn’t try and use that idol against you. Can’t see that happening at this stage.

Sarah the Substitute

I wonder whether Sarah would have kept the idol for herself had she been the one to retrieve it? I’d love to know. Anyway, Sarah potentially is sitting rather pretty here. While it looked like she considered her options with Kent, and I loved the way she pumped him for info (in stark contrast to T-Bone’s approach of telling Kent what should happen), but I do think voting out Kent was the best move tonight. The numbers weren’t quite yet right to make a move against Luke, Jerkicho and Michelle yet, and if Asaga don’t go to tribal again before merge/shuffle, she may need them. Much better doing what she did and keeping them feeling like she’s with them and they’re running things. She needs to let Luke and Jerkicho do their thing and not make it look like her and Anneliese are aligned. As long as she keeps her ear to the ground to make sure they’re not looking at targeting her. If she feels they are, she can work with Anneliese to use the idol to flip the vote back on them. And as I said above, make a move to scoop up Odette, and she may not need to take advantage of that idol yet. Odette’s the number you need right now to really make like Luke and be ‘Mr. Comfortable’.

Luke Train Leaving the Station

If Luke is the engine of the Asaga train, it’s about time he looked behind him to see just how many carriages he actually has in tow because us viewers have the feeling he might shortly lose some and Asaga will derail. Analogy aside, he really does need to check his bonds in that tribe. He has been too cocky for too long and we all know that pride cometh before the fall. About time he took his head out of his ‘safe as houses’ bubble, because you don’t need Ross Greenwood or Paul Clitheroe to tell you the housing bubble is primed to burst (high fives all ‘round for name-dropping those two, fuck I’m awesome). As for Jerkicho and Michelle, I don’t know that they’ve got much life in the game beyond the merge other than as goats. Their best move for now is to stick with Luke and hope that he can steer the train through the rough times ahead (ok this metaphor may have derailed now), keep him as a meat-shield, I don’t expect he’ll flip on them anytime soon. And above all, try and scoop up Odette before Sarah does.

Smooth Criminal

***Nick showing Zenry how find cracks at a new tribe…***

I don’t want to say too much about Samatau today, mostly because there’s not much to say. I liked Zenry’s attempt at using his charisma to establish bonds in his tribe. It’s good to see that he was aware things aren’t really going as planned there, he couldn’t find the crack he assumed would be there, and so acted. Unfortunate that it seemed to backfire, there really is something to be said for keeping as low a profile as possible when joining a new tribe, sticking your neck out is just too risky. As for giving Jerkicho what I assume is his old immunity clue? Initially I thought this a genius move. To have kept it for the purpose of giving someone something tangible with which to show that you’re still with them, and then to pick the cookie distributor was clever. Though it didn’t seem that the clue was particularly specific, I do wonder though if this will result in Jerkicho looking for the clue, not finding it and assuming that Zenry has it, hence targeting Zenry if they make it to merge. Only time will tell.

***Actual footage of AK encouraging Zenry to keep trying to ‘fit in’***

And I couldn’t make it through a post without mentioning fan favourite, Male Rebel Wilson (AKA, MRW. AKA, AK). Not only was he sharp enough to be wise to Zenry’s strategy, but also the way he pumped Ben for information about the exact dynamics of Asaga, was delicious. Sweet, naïve, people-pleasing Ben was all too happy to spill the beans. Until the next super episode, I got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Episode 9 – ‘Asaga? Strong?’ OR ‘Asaga Blood not Thicker Than Water but Still Bloody Thick’

Don’t wait for mum to bring you dinner in your bedroom, make sure you know how we got here by reading the previous analysis.

Two big things to talk about this analysis. Henry’s swap. And Jacqui’s departure. And it’s fair to say you can’t talk about one without talking about the other. So let’s make like Luke and get comfortable.

Playing Like the Devil Right Now

Hmmm. Where to start. At the beginning I guess, pre-swap. Sometimes we can forget that the strategy and gameplay doesn’t just happen once you’ve lost the immunity challenge. When we came across Asaga this episode they were eating their breakfast I guess, and clearly the lines were drawn. Zenry and Jacqui, Kent and Odette, sitting by the fire eating. Luke and Jerkicho, sitting under the cover with the useless bucket (Ben and Michelle). This spelt trouble for Zenry and Jacqui. Again, they’re clearly not reading my analysis. I guess they don’t have wi-fi on island. I’ve been saying since episode two that they need to be more subtle about the time that they spend together. This scene crystallised the brewing rift. For me the worst thing about this was that surely Zenry and Jacqui knew that this rift was brewing. The way it looked to me (admittedly this could be the editing) was that Ben openly asked Jacqui to bring him his breakfast, and did this in a way that would make anyone hearing it think that he was fucking with her. If that’s the case, and Jacqui (and Henry) ignored this, well then Jacqui’s departure is on their heads.

Hit the Road Jacqui.

***She learned this particular yoga move from Henry***

I’d not go as far as saying that Jacqui was riding Zenry’s coat tails, but once he was out of the picture she was always going to have a hard time. They say pride cometh before a fall, and we’ve not seen hubris as blatant as Zenry and Jacqui have displayed over the last two or three episodes before. I’m not sure how many times we’ve heard the two of them mention their power, and it certainly wasn’t always tongue in cheek. Of course this is nothing compared to the overconfidence that Zenry showed when he voluntarily switched tribes. I’ll talk more on that shortly, but for now I’ll just say that this move was another display of the overconfidence that led to Jacqui’s departure. For neither Jacqui nor Zenry to see that they did not have quite the control they imagined, is blinkered gameplay. As much as Jacqui (and Zenry) need to take responsibility for this outcome, the role that Luke played needs to be acknowledged.

Full Pockets, Empty Heads

***If anybody knows just what instrument Luke is miming playing, please let me know in the comments…***

In contrast to Jacqui (and Henry) underselling what was going on in Asaga to their new tribemates, Luke was quick to throw T a bone, informing her that J was carrying on like a pork chop. Seizing the opportunity to establish a bond with T&A. This was a good example of how you gain more trust with candour than with evasiveness. Luke had nothing to lose by spilling the real Asaga dynamics, and though it could be argued that Jacqui may have, I would argue that by saying nothing she damaged the possibility of gaining trust with two new tribemates. Back to Luke, now that Jacqui is gone, where to next. Personally I think the best move is to knock off Anneliese (or Tara if necessary). Disable any power that these two have and break them up now before they get a foothold.

“I’m going to do everything I can” – proceeds to do nothing

The other thing that he did tonight that impressed me was the way he had his core alliance do the work for him. Yes he let T-Bone know what was going down in camp, but then he just spoke with Michelle and Jerkicho, and had them work on T&A (and Sarah, more on her below). From what we saw, it would not have seemed to Jacqui and Kent that Luke was masterminding a coup. What did “scream ‘ALARM BELLS'”, to quote AK, was Sarah’s shiftiness.

Model in the (almost) Middle

***“I could go one fucking way, or I could go the other fucking way…”***

As I was watching Jerkicho try and sway Sarah I thought this was risky, Luke and his crew ultimately did not need Sarah to oust J if they had T&A on side, and at this stage I didn’t know where Sarah stood and so I was concerned that this might tip their hand to Jacqui and Kent. That Sarah may play double agent and go back and form a counter-play with Kent and Jacqui. Was this the right move for Sarah? Certainly it was risky. Made more risky by her dismissal of Kent when he realised he needed to act (and good on him). Ultimately if she knew that the numbers had already flipped, and seemingly without a strong connection either way, this makes sense. Sticking with Kent and Odette would be of no advantage to her. What this transaction did highlight is that she lacks a plus one. I don’t really know what her options are here. I get the feeling she has left her run too late. Jerkicho has Luke. T-Bone has A-Frame. Michelle? I guess Michelle is her option. Other than finding someone to closely align with, I’m really not sure what her best play is from here out. I don’t see her path to the end. Give me your thoughts in the comments below.

Dreadlocks on Holiday

***Kent Knopfler or Bruce Srpingkent? Looks like he’s about to whip out the Strat or the Tele and shred out a blistering guitar solo.***

Odette and Kent now on the outs. Though we’ve not heard much from Odette I’m not inclined to think yet that she hasn’t been playing. My suspicion is that she has strategically hitched her wagon to Kent, Jacqui and Henry, but wasn’t sharp enough to realise that the tide was turning. Now she’s stuck with Kent, and things are looking grim for the both of them. Surely though other people, like Michelle and Sarah can see that Jerkicho is, well, a smug sneaky jerk who can’t be trusted. So perhaps their best move is to recruit S&M, and hopefully T&A, to move against Jerkface McJerkington. Do it quickly though before T&A fall under the comfortable charms of Luke.

Swap and Meet

***AK finally gets rid of T-Bone, now he starts talking about ‘mignons’?!?!***

Can’t go without talking about what I see as really the biggest move this episode. Zenry’s move to open a new interstate franchise. Once I got over my initial shock at this apparent death wish, I started to wonder if this actually could work. I don’t know if we’ve ever seen this move before. I understand his logic. He feels comfortable (of course we know that this comfort is baseless) that things are under control at Asaga, and he wants to increase his sphere of influence. But damn it’s risky. It’s the opposite of what we expect from good smart players. We expect them not to take such big risks if they’re on to a good thing. At least not until the merge. I don’t expect that he would have done this without his hidden immunity idol, I’d love to have this confirmed once he leaves the game. If he makes it to the final tribal council it’s a hell of a move to have on your resume. I really see this as a test case for this move. If this works out, it could truly be considered a gamechanger.

Hopefully next episode we’ll get the chance to see how the swap has changed things at Samatau. I’m also really interested to know whether we will actually see the tribes be shuffled in to three tribes, if they were going to do that I’d imagine they wouldn’t do it with less than 15 players remaining. I wonder if that also figured into Zenry’s decision to scope out the other camp. It was also nice to hear J-LaP give me a shout out and speak those magic words, “drop your buffs”. On that note, I’ve got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Episode 8 – ‘Twist and Shout’ OR ‘Getting Ziggy With It’

Ever feel like you’ve dacked an idol clue only to discover it was a manicure set? Don’t get your short and curlies caught in the razor, read how we got here, here.

***Stuck in the middle. With you (at least until next tribal)***

Much like Luke’s pubes, tonight’s analysis is going to be short and, er, sweet.
All hail Queen Ziggy! Tonight Ziggy gave us a masterclass in Survivor. I must admit I was worried for a while there that this would turn out differently. But cooler heads prevailed. How did she do it? Let’s not beat around the shaved ballsack, let’s sink our teeth into it (the episode that is, not the scrotum).

Zig or Zag

***“(AK) will only lay down his life to save his own life” – Quote of the episode***

Our first look at Samatau tonight once again presented us with a downtrodden Locky and T-Bone trying to piece together some way of forming a majority alliance. Clearly they don’t read my analysis because I’ve been saying for weeks that the only hope for them as individuals is to abandon each other. Of course, they’re too proud to flip to the majority alliance, that would mean admitting defeat. So they (let’s be honest here Locky was the only one doing anything) hatch a plan to influence Ziggy to flip. I was a little confused when they did this since that would leave the numbers at a 4-4 split, How stupid was I not to think that splitting the votes could be on the cards. It seems I wasn’t the only stupid one as neither T-Bone nor Locky made any play to influence the majority alliance to do that let alone think that it could happen (at least not that we were shown). Ziggy to her credit, at least entertains the possibility. We know now of course that she was lying to Anneliese, T-Bone and Locky, but I do believe that she did not dismiss their proposal initially. That she took the time to consider this option. I suspect it didn’t take much consideration before she made the decision that this was not her best move. And from there, well, the way she had the others, particularly Anneliese, thinking that she was with them was nothing less than inspired.

“MARCO?”…”ANNELIESE!” (you thought I was going to say polo, that’s why this particular joke works on multiple levels (oh yeah I am that clever))

***“So glad we’re together AnneLIES. Whoops, didn’t mean to drop the ‘e’. I’m sorry AnneLIES. Ooh I keep saying ‘lies'”***

In a game of ‘big moves’, sometimes it’s the little things that make a good Survivor player. Like limiting your interactions with T-Bone on the pretext that it would make her real alliance suspicious. Like sitting directly between Locky and AK at tribal council (I choose to believe this was a deliberate and strategic move). And most impressive at all, announcing to the rest of her alliance that she was voting Anneliese in the surprise vote, so that they may follow her lead. Incidentally, do you think that they actually had a chance to talk before having to make that surprise vote? I’d be shocked if someone didn’t at least ask if they could. I know I’d certainly ask the question.

***Let’s hope there’s more than one razor***

Back to our Stardust woman. Why was this the best move for Ziggy?
At present she has a good thing going with her fivesome. While it would be naïve not to acknowledge that somebody must be on the bottom, or at the very least that some people are in stronger position than others, there’s nothing that has me thinking that Zig is particularly weak within that fivesome. There’s no doubt in my mind that had she jumped ship, she would most definitely be on the bottom of her new foursome. Admittedly AK is a threat strategically, but he’s also a bloody good meat-shield (is there a better term for that than meat-shield, particularly when the threat is not so much physical but strategic? Threat-magnet? If you’ve got a good one let me know in the comments). I can’t see anyone (other than AK) gunning for Ziggy if AK’s still around posing a threat. Not to mention that Ziggy would put a big target on her balls making such a big move at this point. Locky told her to sit pretty, and that’s exactly what she’s doing.

T… Boned

***“Maybe they’ll have ice-cream on Exile Island…”***

Just when we thought this particular cut of meat was going to get the chop, she’s thrown a lifeline. Dammit. Tara did absolutely nothing to save herself this episode, or the episodes previous. If she were on Asaga I’ve no doubt that she would have been counted in Zenry’s useless basket. If I cared for T-Bone I might give her some advice here. The reality is of course that she’s unlikely to listen to it, and she is never going to win anyway. She’s not playing the game, she doesn’t understand the game, and frankly she comes across as a sook. I don’t care for her. If I did, my advice would be you’ve been given a second shot here, make like AK and show some humility, maybe you’ll actually bond with someone, and then do your best to stay out of the crosshairs (and Lukehairs).

Bridge Over Muddied Waters

Usually I’d spend the rest of the analysis breaking down what I think each of the remaining players from tonight’s tribal council should do next. However, with a shake up looming I don’t see much point in tailoring advice to individuals, so I’ll just say, play it cool to everyone. The last thing you want to do is shake things up now. Let someone else stick their neck in the guillotine. If the shuffle opens options for you, absolutely do what you can to assess those options, but don’t act yet. Solidify your current bonds (if they remain), allow new relationships to develop (I believe this was Andy’s downfall last season. Prior to the shuffle you could see him socialising with everyone in his tribe, post-shuffle he did not talk to some new tribemates at all), and keep a low profile. For some of course, this will be easier than others. I’m looking at you Luke and Jerkicho.

Every day I’m Shuffling

Wow, I’ve made it this far and haven’t even criticised the twist. My thoughts on what I see as production ‘tricking’ players are by now well established. If somehow you don’t know where I stand check here. When J-LaP introduced the immunity challenge I noted that he did not say “I’ll see you at tribal council where someone will be going home”, instead he said “voted out”. I don’t know if this is the first time he’s said that this season. If there’s anyone out there who knows or is willing to make the effort to go back through the season and check, I’d be interested to hear from you in the comments. When he said that tonight I wondered if anyone would ever front him on that and directly ask him if people were being sent home at tribal. I don’t expect he’d give a direct answer, but you’d know something was up. Ultimately I don’t think this knowledge would have changed the strategy in terms of voting against T-Bone. But knowing that you were voting twice certainly would have made things more interesting.

***J – “I want to take myself to bed” M – “I can feel myself again” – Runner up quotes of the episode.***

I know it’s been a mostly Asaga-less analysis here, but there wasn’t much happening over there worth analysing to be honest, particularly with a shuffle on our hands. So until next episode, I got nothing for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Episode 7 – ‘Straight Shooting’ or ‘Feeling the Sting’

If you’re confused about the commotion in the ocean, still those waters by reading how we got here in the previous analysis.

***How many times can I type ‘totes homo’ this season?***

At least Channel Ten weren’t overhyping it this time when they told us we would have a showdown. Personally I’m happy that Mark left. He wasn’t my cup of tea. Ultimately the better man (and woman) won.There’s not much aside from this battle worth talking about, but let’s get muddy and break down why Zenry and Jacqui prevailed.

Revenge is a Dish Worst Served by a Cold Fish

***There’s one or two ladies and men out there that will take more than an inch if you’re offering Mark***

Mark said it himself. He’s a quiet guy. Unfortunately in this game that can come off as analytical, arrogant and aloof. It became crystal clear during tribal just how different this was to the way Zenry came across. I’m glad that ComMarkDo got direct. Not only was it entertaining but, suspecting that the tribe could go either way he really had nothing to lose. All he did though was throw shade at Jacqui and Henry, trying to undermine them and at the same time talk himself up. Zenry on the other hand, took a different approach. None of the words out of Zenry’s mouth were attacks on Mark, but instead were positive and reassuring to his alliance. He spoke of trust and relationships, not secrets and lies. I know that since episode two I’ve been unfavourable in my comments on the way he and Jacqui have carried themselves around camp. This was echoed tonight when Luke said “it’s no secret that (they) are an alliance”. But I definitely got a good vibes from them during the tribal tonight. Their argument against, particulalry Zenry’s, came across as sincere and non-threatening. He was honest about having a ‘mother/son’ relationship with Jacqui, and spoke of having equitable relationships with other tribemates. Ultimately if you’re in that tribal and are still having second thoughts about who to vote against, based on tribal performance alone you’re going to be more comfortable keeping Zenry than ComMarkDo. Asaga have been dealing with these two personalities for nearly twenty days, and if their behaviour in those twenty days was anything like it was during this tribal, it’s clear that Zenry is playing a better game socially. This was something that a few loose words from Luke was not going to change.

Loose Ends

***The Brown Hornet (Luke) and his bumbling offsider (#stretchyreference)***

Oh shit Jericho and Luke! You boys are on the out now. Incidentally nice work from Jericho (savour this Jericho, it’s unlikely you’ll get positive words from me again) in holding the anti-vengeance line during tribal and not tipping his hand. But what happened here tonight speaks to how little awareness these two have of their tribal dynamics. Lucifer Luke we know does shit just to stir shit up, which is never a good play. I don’t see any strategy in what he does other than to create chaos. He’s like a firebug. Gaining a sense of power by performing senseless acts that get reactions.

gif1 — *Actual footage of Luke joining Mark’s alliance*

He’s funny, but I don’t care for his gameplay. And it seems neither do the rest of Asaga, other than Jerkicho. Ugh, I can’t even. And the preview for next episode looks like Jerkicho is going full Brandon Hantz because he doesn’t get his way. I have zero time for this. It’s neither stimulating nor intriguing. I’ll be glad when I don’t have to look at him again. What can they do though to move past this? Well, don’t do what it looks like Jerkicho is doing and sabotaging camp. I’d like to think that the best both of them can do is get back to Zenry and Jacqui, apologise, lay low and hope that Michelle and Ben don’t ingratiate themselves any further. However I do believe there is a chance they could flip things their way though. We still don’t know where Odette, Ben, and Michelle really stand. And I get the feeling Sarah is keeping her options open. These people didn’t flip when it came to the Mark vote, but could they flip on Zenry and Jacqui?

Under the Water, Under the Radar

The more I think about this the more I see that the best move for these real misfits is to flip on Jacqui and Zenry shortly. Of course they don’t know there’s an idol involved. I was excited to hear about that this episode, I’d completely forgotten. Idol notwithstanding, it makes sense to start the whispers about breaking them up. Mark’s parting words have laid the foundation, so if you’re Asaga you can bring it up in that context without it coming across as your own great strategic idea. If you’re the BOMS (Ben, Odette, Michelle, Sarah) which duo do you target first? Zenry and Jacqui, or, Jerkicho and Lucifer Luke (they give JL a bad name)? Zenry and Jacqui are more strategic, but Jerkicho and Luke are unpredictable. Hmmm, I don’t have an answer for this, I’m going to think on it some more. Regardless I would argue that the BOMS are now in a power position if they can get their shit together and get on the same page. Can’t end talking Asaga without acknowledging Sarah’s play this episode. The way she talked with Luke and made him feel comfortable was sublime.

Flaky Relations

5B4747B8-0CAE-4BD3-829C-33A547BF2C5D — ***Sharks don’t generally make it past episode 10 anyhow…***

Again not much from Samatau tonight. Nothing seems to have changed for them. Locky and T-Bone are still trying to work together to create a coup. As discussed two posts ago I consider their best move is to target each other. I guess they’ve at least got to make it look to one another that they still want to play together. Good luck working on Ziggy. I’m glad we got to see more from her tonight and know that she too is considering her options rather than floating along with the majority alliance. I don’t imagine that she’s going to split from the main alliance yet. Certainly not at eight. Come seven though, if it gets that far before a merge/shuffle, I can definitely see her shifting if she can get someone else to shift with her. I don’t know enough about Jarrad and Peter yet to know if they would. I can actually see Tess and Ziggy making a move together at seven if Samatau gets that far.

***I’m claiming this as a personal shout-out from Australian Survivor***

That’s all I got time for tonight. Damn Monday nights with your Survivor and your Thrones and your Q&A. It’s too much for a man to handle. At least they dispensed with reward challenge tonight. I hope that becomes a regular Monday episode thing. Though maybe next time they wont make up for that with 30 mins at tribal council. Until next week, I got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes and non-Survivor gifs created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and Survivor gifs Channel Ten)

Russell Feathers needs your help, especially if you’re an aspie. Do you have a knack for finding typos, spelling, or other grammatical errors? Do you love pointing them out? If you’re one of these particularly gifted people and have found anything above, please let me know here! (Neurotypicals not excluded)

Episode 1 – ‘Welcome (Back) to the Jungle’ OR ‘Paradise Shitty’

We’re Back and Ready for Round 2

So it begins. In a move which one might imagine is in response to fans’ complaints of last season, we have a cast of true game players. In my last post I argued that this was not necessarily a good thing, so far I stand by that (aren’t I just the contrarian?!). Being a first episode there’ll be little to talk about strategy wise here, so it might be a short post. Regardless, let’s make like Jarrad and hold on to our sacks, hopefully it will be a fun ride.

I’m no expert at making friends but I’m pretty sure you don’t start by asking “are you homosexual” in the first hour…

Movers and Shankers?

While there was much argument last season that there were too few ‘superfans’, it seems that this season every other player has a gimmick. While I’m not here to critique casting choices, I will critique strategy. Most obviously in my cross-hairs is of course Henry. Mother Hen? Zenry? (Cast your vote for nickname in the comments). The faux yoga teacher. Let’s put aside for now that in his piece to camera he tells us that he’s shocked no one has ever lied about their vocation before (makes me think he’s no fan at all), to be fair we didn’t learn anything about him tonight other than that part of his strategy. Which it seems is the strategy of many of our contestants in 2017. Not that I’m knocking the play as such. But to call it a master strategy? It’s a minor tactic at best. Let’s look at the players in the past who have done well with this strategy, the most prominent of whom being Tony Vlachos. I think we can all agree that Tony’s ploy to hide his vocation was not the factor that led to his success. Let’s look at all of the players who’ve hidden or disguised their vocation and not done as well as Tony. Bianca, episode 2 boot. Evan, episode 3 boot. Did Phoebe hide what she did? If she did it didn’t seem to help her. I believe Andrew hid that he was a ‘superfan’, might have helped but wasn’t enough. And that’s just the players from the last Australian season who’ve tried this tactic or something similar. There’s a list of non-performers from US seasons. Even the first boot from the NZ season hid her fandom.

Covert Unintelligence

How many players do we have here that are hiding their background? Aside from Yin Yang Hank, I count Mark W., and Tara (dear reader let me know if there’s anyone missing from this list). Seriously Tara? You think that people knowing you’re a barrel racer would disadvantage you? I didn’t even know it was a thing until 30 mins ago!

***I don’t know Jacqui, have you met my ex-wife?***

Back to Halasana Henry (it’s a yoga pose, again, vote below). I’m not quite sure what his reasoning is here anyway. Is he just trying to hide that he’s a labourer? Are labourers inherently Survivor threats? Perhaps the idea is just that he’s going to pretend to be a really cool, friendly, easygoing guy. Not really sure that that’s something you can fake. Just ask AK47 (someone was going to do it, might as well be me). Or as I like to call him, Male Rebel Wilson. MRW.

Finding the Dickhead…

These guys. These fuggin guys. So many dickheads. Of course I don’t know these people outside of the show and they’re possibly great people, but so far, they’re acting like dickheads (or at best it’s being edited that way).

***Hey caption guy, you spelled ‘douchebag’ incorrectly.***

MRW. AKA, AK (A!!) Your faux gentlemanliness might help you pick up drunk bridesmaids (or more likely not), but dude this is not a coolness party. Dial it back. I’m imagining his final tribal speech now. Everyone is blown away when he reveals that he doesn’t actually have any gay friends *insert dramatic reveal music*!!! (Is that because he doesn’t have any friends at all?). The lying about gay friends takes the prize for most dickhead comment of the evening. I hope he can dial it back for his sake. If he doesn’t I suspect he’s not long for this world. As of right now, you’re dickhead number one. I should know, I learned all about it from Fat Fiscal Superman. AKA Kent.

***AK does his best wedding singer impression, “Julia Gulia are you sure there isn’t any rum in that Coca Cola?***

…In a Sea of Dickheads

Is the sarcasm filtering though here? Please keep making dickhead moves like this, we love it. Next on our dickhead list is Jericho the Jesus Jerk. OK, fair enough we haven’t really seen much of him tonight, but he did possibly say the second most dickheaded comment of the night. I’m paraphrasing but essentially it was ‘in my life I live a strong Christian faith, but in this game there will be bloodshed! *maniacal laugh*’. His strong Christian faith is so strong that he hasn’t read enough of the bible to know that is chock full of slaughter, or enough history books to realise that the Christian faith is responsible for more bloodshed on this planet than any other doctrine, nazism included. I’m getting political, but so I should. If Australian Survivor wants to shine a light spirituality/religiosity, then of course I’m going to respond. Anyway, other than myself, there was of course one more dickhead of note as dickheadedness is not solely a male phenomenon.

Oh Baby. Baby…

She’s not your typical sheila. She’s a knockaround, drink a slab with the boys, call a spade a spade, fair dinkum Aussie rootrat. Seriously Survivor? This is where we’re going in 2017, ocker gender stereotypes? Again, we didn’t see much of Aimee tonight, but the little introduction we did have made it into our dickhead quotable quotes. So quotable that I’m not going to quote it but I will paraphrase. Essentially she said ‘when I tell people I’m a plumber, they’re like, “nah, you must be a hairdresser”, and I’m like “nah, I’m a plumber”‘. Aimee if you’re seriously telling people that you’re a plumber and they’re responding with disbelief and suggesting that you must be a hairdresser, then you must talking to true, died in the wool, fuckin dickheads. Who are these idiots that respond like this? To be fair to you, the dickheadedness on display here does not belong to you. I’m sincerely sorry if that’s you’re experience. I don’t find it laughable at all, and it saddens me that you dismiss it as humour. I hope that you don’t have to experience that again in the future.

Other Notable Moments

We’ve already noted use of the word ‘dickhead’ tonight and I’m really happy that Survivor has not been afraid to use such language. It was particularly refreshing to hear Jacqui use the word ‘tits’. And in the opening moments too. Really set the tone. Is that a Survivor first? Somebody please make a meme of Jacqui saying ‘tits’, I’ll be forever in your debt.

I don’t feel like we’ll have to talk through the challenge and lead up to tribal, there’s little to discuss other than the challenge was fun, but took too much airtime for my liking. Time that could have been spent showing us whether or not there was an advantage on the barge at the start. I’d be surprised if no one had the sense to look for one, I would have liked to see that. Incidentally, while we’re on the barge, you can’t call it a twist in the first challenge if you are just explaining the rules of the challenge. That’s not a twist, that’s explaining the rules of the challenge. I’ll wager a large booty that this is not the first time Australian Survivor lies about a twist this season though.

My viewing buddy and I looked at each other when Joan told us she was the puzzle queen and recognised that they very much sounded like famous last words. Not sure what to make of Ben flipping his vote to Joan on the revote. We don’t know enough about him or any alliances/factions/voting blocks at this stage to understand the strategy behind it. Perhaps there was no strategy.

Must say I was a little shocked that there dind’t seem to be much made of sending two people off to the fire challenge. As we discussed last season, if ever there’s a situation where the tribe has to pick one or more emissaries you do not want to be one of those people. There’s too great a possibility it will not work out for you, as we saw for Mark H. He took this hard. Just as Kent and Joan took it hard when they put their hands up for the puzzle.

There wasn’t enough lime farmer this episode. Wait, that’s not true, there was more time with Tarzan this episode than there was Jared Lipnicki in Jerry Maguire!

All in all, I must say I’m extremely happy with the episode though. Yes I’ve talked a lot about the dickheads that I loathe. But as I discussed at length last post, that’s what we love about Survivor. Talking with our friends and the community about the dickheads, gaining pleasure in their failures, feeling superior when they make a stupid move or say something ridiculous, telling everyone how we would do it SO much better. If anything I hope that these losers would calm down just a little bit, we don’t want them all to go home in the first third of the season and have a lacklustre period like we did last year. We’ve certainly got a cast of fabulous characters, time will tell if we have a cast of fantastic contestants.

Until tomorrow, that’s all I’ve got for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

Survivor analysis by Russell Feathers, an Australian who thinks he has the numbers, but probably is about to have his torch snuffed (not a euphemism).

Need a sugar rush before you hit this analysis? Read the previous episodes analysis here!

A Big Annoying Thing

Michelle ‘n’ Man

A Straight Up Rascal

Thinking it Through Logilocky

Zig in a Poke

Aloha Luke

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Wish In One Hand, Dirt In The Other

Conserving Your Energy (you read that correctly, I went there)

Faking My Harlequin

Devilish Handling of an Idol Play Thing

Let’s Tess-ellate

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Unhappy Family

Free(d) Agent

River Dunce

Model Prisoner in the Five-Senses Realm

Circle Jerk

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Bearly There.

Dreadlocks on Holiday

Simple Simple Simple

T-Bone’s Wing-(Wo)Man

Sarah the Substitute

Luke Train Leaving the Station

Smooth Criminal

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Playing Like the Devil Right Now

Hit the Road Jacqui.

Full Pockets, Empty Heads

Model in the (almost) Middle

Dreadlocks on Holiday

Swap and Meet

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Zig or Zag

“MARCO?”…”ANNELIESE!” (you thought I was going to say polo, that’s why this particular joke works on multiple levels (oh yeah I am that clever))

T… Boned

Bridge Over Muddied Waters

Every day I’m Shuffling

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Revenge is a Dish Worst Served by a Cold Fish

Loose Ends

Under the Water, Under the Radar

Flaky Relations

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We’re Back and Ready for Round 2

Movers and Shankers?

Covert Unintelligence

Finding the Dickhead…

…In a Sea of Dickheads

Oh Baby. Baby…

Other Notable Moments

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