Before I get started, there’s something the pedant in me needs to get off my pedantic chest. Please J-LaP. Please stop saying ‘commit mutiny’. That’s not what ‘mutiny’ means. Get a dictionary Survivor production, C’MON!. And the way he was saying it sounded like he was trying to make it a Survivor thing. I don’t know whether or not I’d be happy with this becoming a thing, but regardless, don’t fuggin’ call it ‘committing mutiny’. Please call it ‘jumping ship’, that would be much better and contextually correct. And fuck knows what he meant by the line “Peter stole your life boat”. What does that actually mean? I can understand how it could mean something to Sarah, but Asaga in general? What drugs you been smokin’ fool?

Luke Warm

This was almost the episode in which Luke’s erratic gameplay pigeons came home to roost. His gameplay thus far has been hit and miss. We, or at least I, have never really been able to get a read on whether there is strategy behind his tactics, or whether his strategy really is, as he said at the very beginning, to fuck shit up (I may be paraphrasing there). At one point in this episode he gave us a list of all the different ways he had his ‘alliance’ voting, and they were all voting different ways. I don’t get it Luke. What are you trying to achieve with that? Power is no good to you if you don’t know how to wield it, or can’t direct it in a way in which it will actually aid you. It’s like he’s gone to the race-track with a million dollars, and put $100,000 on each horse in a ten horse race. Sure, your horse will win, but you’ll lose. To be fair, I understand why he had told Jerkicho that the vote was for Peter. I’m not against it. It was reminiscent of Tony Vlachos. Do what you gotta do not to have it blow up in your face before or at tribal, and then ask for forgiveness afterwards. If tribal had gone this way and Sarah had gone home it’s possible that Jerkicho would not have appreciated the blindside and accepted Luke’s apology (assuming that’s what Luke would have done), and actually turned against Luke. But Luke thinks that he has Jerkicho in his pocket and Jerkicho has done nothing so far to have Luke believe otherwise.
Where Luke failed tactically was in not telling T-Bone that that’s what he was going to do Jerkicho. In fact I’d go back a step and say where he failed strategically was in telling T-Bone what was going to happen and not asking her. This was never going to wash with her, so I’m not surprised it had her carrying on like a pork chop. He’s been more sensitive about this stuff in the past, maybe just the hunger is getting to him, or maybe he’s getting cocky. Either way it blew up in his face tonight. Where to from here then? Well in my mind he’s incredibly lucky that there wasn’t any vote, now he can start over with Jerkicho and T-Bone and aim for Sarah if that’s what he wants to do. And if I were him that’s exactly what I would do. He knows, not just suspects, KNOWS, that Sarah wants him gone (more on this later). You don’t get that too often in Survivor. He needs to capitalise on the way she behaved at tribal tonight and get T-Bone working with him on booting Sarah. With him, not for him. Speaking of T-Bone…

“Not the Smartest Person” or “A Game that I Don’t Want to Play” (T-Bone makes it so easy for me to write headings. She practically hands them to me on a silver platter)

Firstly I have to say how sorry I feel for Tara. This poor woman has lived her entire life having never seen a circus before. Circuses, when done well, are fabulous fun entertainment. I’m so sorry you’ve never had the opportunity to enjoy them T-Bone. Hopefully you do soon. Back to the game. What was T-Bone thinking telling Sarah that Luke was working against her? Would you say this is tantamount to flipping alliances? Much like Luke, this smacks of not actually having a strategy, and just being drunk on power (the power that she knows what Luke wants to do), and trying to show everyone that she is relevant and important in this game. Again, she had power, but doesn’t know where to point it. So instead of taking her gunpowder, putting it in a bullet and taking a shot at her biggest threat (which honestly at this point is probably herself really), she puts it in a firecracker and just throws it on the ground and watches it spin out. Then on top of her inability to actually work towards achieving something this episode, she faffs around at tribal exposing secrets and making herself look utterly unreliable. A game that she doesn’t want to play indeed. Usually at this point I’d offer advice on what to do next, but I don’t want to waste any further energy on her. We see from the next preview that she again decides to play the victim and attack Luke for telling her what to do. Now I know I said above that Luke should not be acting that way with her, but jesus lady, he is/was the only person who’s actually taken her under their wing at Asaga and she wants to spit on that relationship too?! This game isn’t about you T-Bone.

Feeling Fat

Was this the right move for Pete? I can’t see how anybody could argue otherwise. However actually it’s actually difficulty to actually analyse this actually properly without actually knowing more about the jumping ship rules. What would have happened if nobody had agreed to jump ship? Would they have voted? If they voted were they voting for someone to leave or someone to change tribe? Was this explained to the players before they were given this option? So it’s possible, and some would argue likely, that had the vote happened Pete could have gone home, or at the very least be sent . He seems to have very little on Asaga for him. Sure, if he stayed at Asaga he could take advantage of the current mood of disharmony and maybe make his way through another tribal there. In my estimation though the risk is too great for little reward. There’s nothing that he owes to the people of Asaga and no great opportunity he’s leaving behind. I too would have jumped at the chance to go back to anal liance I felt safe in, than to try my luck with Sarah.

Lies Straight Down

Where did Sarah go wrong tonight? Did she go wrong tonight? In many ways, yes. First off, everybody knows you just never tell anybody that you are against them. If that’s not Survivor rule #1 then it’s certainly top 5. Secondly, if T-Bone knows that there is a power struggle between you and Luke, then something has most certainly gone wrong. The strength of your game thus far has been in subtlety so something is not working if T-Bone know dat. I don’t know exactly what that something is though. Jerkicho was quick to notice that she was spending a lot of time talking to Pete and Odette, he showed good instincts there, but T-Bone made the above comment before all of that. Could it be the throw away vote she threw toward Pete at the AK vote? (PS if anyone can fill me in below on why she voted that way I’d love to hear it). Definitely going on that reward did not help her cause any. I’m not saying (yet) that she should have opted not to go (if that was possible), that’s a big call, and easy to make in hindsight. Food is a pretty strong driver at this point. Could she have played it cooler on returning to camp? Maybe. I just get the feeling that all of this time spent with Pete, and before that Anneliese, has put doubt into the minds of Luke and Jerkicho. This doubt was substantiated when Pete ostensibly picked her for reward, and Luke just wanted to play it safe and vote her before she gets any real power. So what can she do now? I guess she too needs to capitalise on the way that Luke behaved at tribal and try to sway T-Bone and Odette her way. Judging by the above note about T-Bones tirade toward Luke in the preview for the next episode, she might be in with a shot there. There perhaps was one other thing that she could have done this episode….

Jerry Duty

I mentioned above that Jerkicho’s perception was spot on when he noticed that Sarah had been spending too much time talking to others in the lead up to tribal council. Again, what he did with this information, well I just don’t know that he actually had a plan. We saw him sit down and tell her to stop, I’m guessing because he just wants to tell her to play cool and stay ‘Asaga strong’ together plucking off the low hanging fruit until they have to turn on each other. Somehow he did know that she had been throwing Luke’s name around, and chose the time that Luke was sitting with the two of them to reveal it. I mentioned above that she should never have admitted this to Luke, and I stand by that, but I can understand how she was put in a situation here where she had to make a snap decision here about how to respond to the allegation, and chose to tell the truth. I can see how that could happen. What became clear to me though, from the conversation that followed between the three of them was that Tara was the one who had let slip that Luke wanted Sarah out too. At this point all I could think was, ‘gang, please set aside your differences here and see who the real person is that’s causing this disharmony and take out this loose cannon’. I can understand why Luke might not be so responsive to this idea initially, but if Sarah could convince Luke by sharing what T-Bone said that T-Bone is not the little puppet he thinks he has under his control, then maybe he might be tempted to take her out, and I don’t mean for a steak dinner. Ultimately, T-Bone betrayed him, and I can’t imagine that he would take too kindly to that. Next episode it looks to me that Luke is going to have to decide whether he uses T-Bone to take out the woman who has blatantly told him she was going to vote for him, or whether he uses Sarah to take out the woman who has betrayed him by selling secrets to his enemies. As I mentioned above, T-Bone looks like she’s not going to do herself any favours in Luke’s eyes in this respect. I see I’ve somewhat contradicted my earlier suggestion for Luke. To be honest, with a merge around the corner I really don’t know which of these two options is better for him. Give me your thoughts in the comments below.

As far as what Jerkicho should do from here, sit back and let this play out. I’d stay with Luke for as long as you can, but if it looks like the numbers aren’t going to go that way and the three Asaga women are going to vote against Luke, then you need to flip too, and hope that merge comes soon so you can hook back up with Zenry. Of course, I don’t really care what he does, he’s never going to make it to the end anyway, especially without Luke, and that’s perfectly fine with me.

Similarly for Odette, I just can’t see a path to the end for her. A few episodes ago I said that she needs to find a friend quick. An offsider. With Sarah seemingly also without an offsider, I would suggest that she hitch her wagon to that train. Solidly. And hope for the best.

I know I’ve not had much to say about Samatau in this post, hopefully we’ll get to see more of them next episode. A few notes briefly regarding last week’s episodes that I didn’t write about while I was taking a break. Of course I’m very sad to see AK, the male Rebel Wilson, go. Not only because I enjoyed his gameplay, but because I missed using the ‘Hang the DJ’ headline for his boot episode. I won’t get started on how I feel about the fact that he’s gone and Tara’s still there other than to say that this result is everything that is wrong with that type of twist and change to the every tribal someone goes home (or to redemption) standard format we know and love. The other thing that I need to say about last week is how absolutely great it was to see that Jerkicho’s favourite food is JERKY!!!!! That has been putting a smile on my face all week! I’ll leave you with that, I got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Russell Feathers needs your help, especially if you’re an aspie. Do you have a knack for finding typos, spelling, or other grammatical errors? Do you love pointing them out? If you’re one of these hotshit people and have found anything above, please let me know here! (Neurotypicals not excluded)