Tag: Jericho

Grand Finale 2017 – ‘The Sea Was Angry That Day My Friends’ OR ‘Easy Big Fella’

You don’t need to be in the dark when you start reading this analysis. Check out the previous episode’s analysis here.

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Party of two…

Congratulations Jericho. Winner of Australian Survivor 2017. I can’t argue he didn’t play a strong game. I can and have argued that he didn’t play the strongest game. That’s not to say he doesn’t deserve his win. I’ve long held the belief that the beauty of Survivor is that the winner always deserves the win. That’s the way that the game is structured. It’s the genius of the jury system. I will say however, had Tara won, then I would have to reassess that position. This would be based solely on the fact that she had already been voted out. All of the players believed they were voting her out. Nobody else, other than Anneliese, had been given such a second chance, and the events surrounding Anneliese’s initial vote out were less than fair, to her, or to the rest of the players. As far as I’m concerned T-Bone simply had no claim to be there. At least no greater claim than any other person who was voted out of the game after she was given a second chance. It might be time for me to stop bitching about a scenario that didn’t occur, but we came too close for comfort.

Lean In To It

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“Can’t start a fire without a spark….if we’re just dancing in the dark”

Knowing going into this finale that there were three contestants whose games I was less than fond of, and the thought of having to write an analysis of a finale consisting of these three filled me with dread. I decided to look back on my analysis of last years finale. I remember I had similar thoughts preceding that finale, but I decided to lean in to it. To let myself get lost in the moment. Allow the grand spectacle of that final immunity challenge to wash away my negativity. Reading back on it, not only was I proud of what I had written, but I was filled with affection for that episode. What a dizzying wave of delight we rode watching the scale of that epic challenge and the way the characters fought and hustled through it. The emotion I felt at the sight of Kristie’s dad carrying a battle weary Kristie in his arms, his face filled with immense pride, yet at the same time being the fatherly protector, taking his precious daughter in his arms and letting her know that everything would be alright. The joy Lee and his family felt at being reunited after more than 55 days apart. These things filled me with tears then. They do now just writing about them. Watching the end of the immunity challenge 2017 literally brought me to tears once again. Unfortunately, these were tears of anger. That this is what my favourite game had come to. These three characters, that I had no feeling for, in a challenge devoid of the height of spectacle and depth of emotion we were treated to last year. Sure, now it was dark and looked pretty all lit up by torches, but without the family there, and without anything like Kristie’s impassioned promise to Lee that “I’ll take you, just let me have this!”, what we were left with was underwhelming. And I haven’t even started on the gameplay.

Mad. Respect?

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To quote Tara this episode “I’m not meant to be here” and “I really was trying”. The only two things she’s said that I agree with?

There was little gameplay here for me to discuss. Jericho chose to take Tara. He would have beaten either. I would have liked J-LaP to have asked the jury if they had to choose between Jericho and Peter who they would have voted for. We didn’t get that, maybe he’ll remember next year. If there is a next year. Incidentally I am almost certain that they were advertising applications for this season before last season had finished. Am I right about that? If so it worries me that they didn’t do that this year. I didn’t find either Jericho’s or T-Bone’s pitch to the jury particularly clever. If anything, I was worried that Jericho shot himself in the foot early on with his apparent disrespect of the games of many of the jury members. To me that’s a no-no. But at least he owned his game. I, like Sarah, was completely confused at his explanation of who he was. Was he trying to say he was really the bad guy playing the good guy? At one point he sounded like he was saying that he was a good guy, playing a bad guy game, by being a good guy. I don’t think he knows. And as for the whole ‘to be the best you have to beat the best in the final tribal council’ argument…well I know I’ve gone on and on about this in the past, but can anyone actually name a single time a jury member has voted against someone because they took a goat to the finale? I just don’t think this has ever happened (feel free to correct me in the comments). Doesn’t this tell you that such an argument/tactic is ridiculous?! There were just so many facepalm moments. I can’t decide which was more cringeworthy, T-Bone telling us that she didn’t start playing the game until Locky was voted out (even though this was also supposedly her biggest move. How does that work?), or, her line “in my defence…bring it on!” How the shit is “bring it on” anyone’s ‘defence’?!?! So as you can see, there really wasn’t any gameplay to critique.

Respecting This Thing We Call Survivor

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That would explain the DEVO-lution of the game this season…

I’m glad we finally got our reunion. It was nice to hear from some of those players again, but for mine it was way too long. I didn’t need to hear what Aimee felt like when she fell on her head. And I swear if I have to hear about cookies one more time….! There was too much filler like that. I guess I’d prefer to have a too long reunion than no reunion at all though. And I had hoped though that J-LaP would at least ask Tessa how she would have voted had she been given the opportunity. It would have been interesting to see if that would have made a difference. Anyway, hopefully the reunion will return should we get another season.

Devaluing The Achievement

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Everybody’s getting a three piece together (my most obscure music reference this season?)

Speaking of another season, I’ll briefly touch again on how there needs to be a format change if they do go ahead. If you’ve read this far you know that my feelings regarding the finalists. If you’ve been reading all season then you know my feelings regarding the final six. I know I’m not the only person that feels this way, and I understand this feeling is also reflected in the ratings. This is the same situation as last year. A drab final six devoid of real game players (with the exception of Flick). Surely now the production team must be considering that 24 players is too many. I read an interview this week with J-LaP. He was unashamedly spruiking that Australian Survivor does Survivor better than US Survivor at 1/4 of the cost. I won’t argue that from a production standpoint. The product looks beautiful and this season the challenge design is the best I have ever seen in a single Survivor season. But being left with these uninspiring, bland, milquetoast-filled final sixes? Well let’s just say that US Survivor has never, in my opinion, had a season with such an underwhelming final four, let alone final six. Why that might be bears significant consideration if they want to ensure the future of the game we love. I’m sure by now there’s no need for me to further point out that many of the twists characterised by an Australian Season contribute to the further devaluing of this game.

“this season saw some very high highs”

I love this game. I have for many, many years. If you’re reading this you’re likely one the thousands who loves it just as much. When people ask me who my footy team is, I tell them I watch Survivor. In case the fact that I’ve written around 100,000 words about Survivor in the last 15 months and around 40K this season didn’t tip you off, I’m passionate about it, and I want to share that passion. So when I meet someone who hasn’t watched Survivor before and wants to know about it, it’s easy for me to wax poetic about all the things I love about it and all the reasons why I believe everyone should at least try watching it. Having now watched two seasons of Australian Survivor (those first two abominations from the early noughties don’t count), I have to say that I would not encourage a prospective new viewer to start their experience with Australian Survivor. Certainly, this season saw some very high highs. Some of the best Survivor episodes EVER. But these highs have been completely undermined by the lacklustre endings. Please Channel Ten… Please Endemol Shine… Please Castaway Entertainment… Survivor Gods I implore thee!! Heed my words. Reassess your approach for the sake of the fans, and for the sake of this thing we call Survivor that we treasure so dearly, promote so enthusiastically, and respect so zealously.

Until next year, I got nothing else for you. You can head home.

– My heartfelt thanks to all those who have read, commented on, or in other way engaged with my shit this season. See you next year – Russell Feathers

 

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Russell Feathers needs your help, especially if you’re an aspie. Do you have a knack for finding typos, spelling, or other grammatical errors? Do you love pointing them out? If you’re one of these hotshit people and have found anything above, please let me know here! (Neurotypicals not excluded)

 

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Episode 25 – ‘T Intersection’ OR ‘Pitt, Stop’

If you’re struggling to understand Plan B, perhaps reading the previous analysis will help you decide what’s best for you.

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For perhaps the first time ever, I agree with T-Bone

I’m going to do my very best here to understand why T-Bone took the turn that she did tonight, and really try to ignore my Olympic feelings. It’s a hard thing to do. It’s no secret that I don’t like Jerkicho’s or T-Bone’s games at all, and that I find their characters repellent. Based on what we see on-screen I suspect that if I were playing with them they would really rub me the wrong way. That being said, they made it into the game, I didn’t. I’ve always said this analysis is about the game and not about the show, so it’s only fair of me that I do my best to thoroughly and genuinely analyse their game tonight, and not their person. Let’s start with Jerkicho.

Jericho Spoke in Class Today

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Jerkicho starts wrapping T-Bone around his little finger

I don’t think anyone can begrudge the effort and tenacity shown by Jerkicho tonight. On tonight’s performance alone, it would be a challenge to argue that he’s not most deserving of the three remaining. Good on him for realising that it was his name that was likely to be written down the most (and bad on Peter, but more on that later). Once he suspected that he was on the chopping block he needed to do something. And something he most certainly did do. All he needed was to have one person not vote for him and he knew that one person wasn’t going to be Peter. I could critique his choice to approach Michelle first. I would have thought that T_bone would be the easiest to sway, not only because of who she is but also due to their relationship as the Asaga four. I guess when your back is against the wall you take the first chance you can get. Ideally, when you’re in Jericho’s position, you’d want to have Tara vote Michelle and Michelle vote Tara, and then you could choose who you want voted out. Taken Peter would vote Jerkicho, then Jerkicho would send home whoever he would like in a 2-1-1 split. That’s the ideal situation if you’re Jerkicho. Obviously, Michelle was too touchy to be influenced that way. I’ll have to rewatch but I did not get the feeling on the first watch that there was any hint of bullying or threat in Jerkicho’s approach to Michelle. Regardless, Michelle took it that way, and in fact that was all that J needed. He was able to leverage her instability and give T-Bone another option.
Beyond the above, his performance at tribal was spot on. Again, if this is the potentially the last chance you’re going to get to address the jury, then take it for all it’s worth. He played up his against the wall, underdog status at this tribal. And the jury seemed impressed. I don’t recall there being anything in his speech though that was aimed at convincing T-Bone to vote with him. Again, hopefully a rewatch can clarify this. So why then did T-Bone vote the way she did?

Shit Stirrer

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T-Bone attempts a Shaggy style ‘it wasn’t me’ before realising that that couldn’t possibly hold up 

Some people just want to watch the world burn, and some people just want to watch the fire challenge burn. T-Bone is both of those people. In a game where she hasn’t really made any positive gutsy moves, at least she now has one thing that she can point to in her resume (should she be required to provide it). Unfortunately for her, this very move actually strengthens Jerkicho’s resume (should he get there). So if her thinking was that by backing Jerkicho she’s more likely to get to the end, then, it has actually made her more likely to lose against him (in my opinion). If I was sitting there in that particular tribal council listening to Jerkicho tell the tribe, J-LaP and the jury what he was telling them, and perhaps more importantly, how well he was telling them, I would be thinking, “I don’t want to go up against this guy in the finale”. If she had this level of awareness she would understand that there is no way that she would beat Jerkicho in a final two. While I agree that her best bet at making it to final two would be to do what she did, and oust Michelle (not that she did it, Jerkicho did, but she gave him the ability to), unfortunately for her, this move makes it less likely for her to win. So ultimately, I have to say that this is a bad move. I won’t make argument again as to the merits, or otherwise, of the ‘to be the best, beat the best’ argument. I’ve done that plenty in these analyses. Really her only chance to win now, is to win immunity and bring Peter to the end. Then she better hope she can make like Donald Trump, and have the best words the jury’s heard her utter thus far (worked for Kristie) and hope that Peter can’t articulate an argument as to why he should win.

Awfully Civilised Scrambling

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That you might end up in an awkward conversation should be the least of your worries at this point in the game…

Well done Peter on a much needed immunity win. Not so well done on how he played Jerkicho tonight. His conversation with Jerkicho was a) not at all believable in his body language, and b) not at all believable in the content. Jerkicho was right to think that it all seemed too easy. Starting the conversation with, “I think it should be Tara” was never going to be believable in my opinion. As I’ve said so many times this season, and the previous, if you want to gain someone’s trust, don’t tell them what to do, ask their opinion. It seems that maybe Peter had his first taste of power. And with this sweet elixir coursing through his system, he perhaps forgot that these conversations still required nuance, savvy, and shrewdness. On top of that, well did he even know that there was unrest among the remaining three? If he didn’t, why the hell not? If he did, what did he do to stabilise the situation? In fact both he and Michelle need to be called out about their lack of gusto in at tribal council.

‘Don’t let Jerkicho tell you what to do, Jerkicho is not best for your game’

In the face of Jerkicho’s impassioned and articulate argument, they needed to do more to argue their case, and argue it directly. It should have been clear to Peter by now that that Jerkicho knew the votes were headed his way. At this point there is no need to dance around and play games. Both Peter and Michelle needed to stand up and say they are voting Jerkicho, and they are voting Jerkicho because he’s the strongest, and if he goes to the end he will win. It is time to get him out now. Of course, T-Bone being T-Bone there’s every possibility that this could backfire, and she could be the one saying that she’s being bullied into voting a particular way. So if one were to do so, one would have to be careful. Perhaps Michelle’s line to the rest of her tribe mates encouraging them to play their own game was overly cautious. That line might have worked if the ‘get rid of the biggest threat to YOUR end-game’ argument had already been framed. The other option for the two of them, particularly Michelle was to push the bully point harder. Knowing just how much T-Bone hates being told what to do, Michelle could have made it clear to T-Bone that nobody should be bullied, and that Jerkicho’s performance at tribal and pre-tribal was bullying. That may have made it a little harder for T-Bone to vote the way she did. And if it didn’t work, it was at least worth a shot. Perhaps this was what Michelle was alluding to in her ‘play your own game, vote your own way’ line. Unfortunately it was too subtle for Tara to understand that the subtext was (or should have been), ‘Don’t let Jerkicho tell you what to do, Jerkicho is not best for your game’.

I acknowledge that it’s easy for me to sit here in the rocking chair and with the gift of hindsight wax academic about what they should have done. I know it is much, much more difficult in the heat of the moment to frame your argument perfectly, and to effectively counter the arguments of your opponents. Hopefully one day I’ll get the chance to put my money where my mouth is.

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“Hey Mick, want to stick your fingers in my lolly jar?”

Before I go I’ll quickly mention the family visit. While it had me crying as it usually does, the fact that it wasn’t tied to any sort of challenge completely devalued it for me. Is this another Survivor first? Let me know what you think in the comments. Until the finale, I’ve got nothing else for you, head back to camp.


– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Russell Feathers needs your help, especially if you’re an aspie. Do you have a knack for finding typos, spelling, or other grammatical errors? Do you love pointing them out? If you’re one of these hotshit people and have found anything above, please let me know here! (Neurotypicals not excluded)

Episode 24 – “Getting Pegged” OR “My T-Bone is the Centrefold”

You don’t have to read minds to know how we got to this point, check out the previous episode’s analysis here!

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#toteshomo

Well that was a waste of an hour of my life. Drop Your Buffs! has always been about the game of Survivor and not the show, so I’ll try not to spend too much time discussing the banality of this episode, but unfortunately there’ll be some things I just can’t avoid. Anyway, let’s make like Peter and break (it) down.

T Pain

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If you think you’re getting anywhere near $500K for an appearance in a ‘dirty magazine’ Tara, I’ve got some bad news for you….

The above may seem a little harsh against Pete, but the truth is listening to Pete talk about his family was the only thing that made me feel anything this episode. I’m a sucker for the family stuff, so it didn’t take me long to get some sympathetic tears flowing. Regardless, the first 15 minutes was all ‘we’ve come so far’. It was a full 15 minutes (without ad break) of uninspired, hackneyed platitudes. That’s a quarter (more than when you factor in ads) of the episode listening to our remaining four essentially say the same thing over and over. How hard it has been to get this far, how they’re so proud of themselves and excited by the prospect of a one in four shot to win $500K. I had to laugh when T-Bone told us that she gave it her all. How many times this season did she tell us she was giving up? Give me a break. Survivor has NEVER been this boring before, the first quarter added NOTHING to the episode, the series, or the individuals’ character arcs. If US Survivor has never served up anything this insipid and vapid, what makes production think that it will work for Australia? Ugh.

Crackin’ Coconuts

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I don’t have a witty (or otherwise) caption for this, it’s just a beautiful shot.

The other bookend to this episode was 15 minutes of our flavourless foursome mostly telling us how, to quote Jerkicho, “the ultimate decision”, could mean the difference between $550K and nothing. Really? I’m pretty daft so you better have each of those players plus J-LaP reiterate that over and over again or there’s a possibility I might not comprehend the gravity of the advantage. This was literal face-palm television.

So when you factor in the challenge itself (which I quite enjoyed) was close to another 15 minutes, that leaves only 15 minutes of actual ‘gameplay’. This gameplay consisted of Jerkicho putting the jury into two groups, the ‘I don’t knows’, and the ‘they’re fines’. Apparently Tessa is the only one who doesn’t fall into either of these groups because “I don’t know if she respects gameplay or…”. Doesn’t the “I don’t know” part of that sentence put her into the ‘I don’t know’ group?! Fark me, this was like pulling teeth. Barely watchable. That’s enough episode bashing for now, let’s talk gameplay.

Cleaning the Trash Out of the Room

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When you ask Jericho about the mile high club…

The only strategy to chew on tonight was all about which jury member you vote out. And that particular morsel is wafer thin. Of course, you want to vote out the one who is unlikely to vote for you, and who is likely the most vocal about it. I liked that he asked the rest of the players for their opinions. The more info you’ve got on your opponent’s motivations and opinions on how the jury will vote the better. To not do so when given the opportunity would leave you with a myopic view of the opinions of the jury. Of course, they’re going to try and influence you, but there’s valuable info to glean from that. Incidentally did I miss something in the unveiling of the advantage? I didn’t know he could ask questions of the jury until we got to tribal council. I assume he was aware of that some time before council started. I can’t argue against his choice of questions and to whom he asked them. Having never seen this situation before it’s not something I’ve ever pondered. I understand this is the first time ever in US and Aus Survivor history that the remaining players have been able to communicate with the jury prior to the final tribal (fill me in if I’m mistaken). I guess that’s kind of a big deal. I particularly liked the question he asked Anneliese, concerning what might make her sway her mind in a final tribal speech. Nice one. It gives Jerkicho something to consider when developing the speech. Unfortunately, it gives his opponents the same info, but I’d prefer to have the info and know that my opponents did too, than not have the info and be wondering if I’m barking up the wrong tree. One thing I wonder about his decision to vote out Tessa (so fuggin sad to see her go, that’s when I REALLY REALLY cried, would have loved to see her exit interview), is would he have kept her had she picked Michelle as the weakest? I suspect he intends to take Michelle to the end if he can help it, so maybe that’s why he chose Tessa to go. He couldn’t trust that she wouldn’t vote for Michelle. I hope that we find out the specific motivations behind his questions when his game finishes, because I’m certainly intrigued. We may even find out at the finale. I’d like to think that if he makes it to the end, he would leverage this part of his game into his story. Explaining what he did with his opportunity, and how it helped him.

Sweetening up the Competition

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Be careful Michelle, you’ll never guess what Happened to the last person T-Bone ‘let into her sugary  bucket’ 

Before I go, could it be argued that T-Bone’s offer of lollies to Michelle is strategic gameplay? Well in T-Bone’s mind it was. I guess at this point she’s got nothing to lose. If it works, great. Another tool in the tool bag, in more ways than one. If not, whatevs. Hopefully we’ll have more to discuss tomorrow, if the preview is anything to go by, with family visits on the agenda, it looks like it will be another tears one. I got nothing else for you. Head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Russell Feathers needs your help, especially if you’re an aspie. Do you have a knack for finding typos, spelling, or other grammatical errors? Do you love pointing them out? If you’re one of these hotshit people and have found anything above, please let me know here! (Neurotypicals not excluded)

Episode 22 – ‘Think, Quick’ OR ‘Stale, Mate’

If you haven’t read the previous episode’s analysis you can get your sugar fix here.

A reasonably straightforward episode with a reasonably straightforward outcome. I think that is pretty much what we can expect from the remaining three or four episodes with this cast of clowns. That this is our final five is further testament to what I mentioned last analysis, that there needs to be some sort of shake-up of the Australian format. I DON’T WANT ANY OF THESE PEOPLE TO WIN! And I’m sure I’m not the only one. I need to make like Tessa and put my emotion aside so that I can continue with this analysis, but with so few people left, and so few strategic options, there’ll be little to discuss, but let’s make like T-Bone and have rice for breakfast on Mother’s Day. And by that I mean, get on with it.

Should Have Zagged.

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Last Supper

The one thing that bugged me for almost the entire episode was Ziggy’s inability to search for other options for herself. Surely it’s as clear to everyone out there playing the game as it is to us here on our couches, that Tara is in no way reliable, dependable, or predictable. That makes her the biggest threat to your game (to clarify, NOT the biggest threat to WIN the game). To me Ziggy’s best play this episode would have been to approach the Peter, Jerkicho, and Michelle alliance (P, J & M) and propose to them that neither side can bank on her vote, that because no-one can know which way she will go, she’s a threat to everyone’s game. Both side’s game rested on her vote.

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Playing dumb, or dumb playing?

Now it is possible that Jerkicho and his gang knew they had T-Bone all along. How tribal played out would suggest otherwise (more on this later). It is also possible that had Ziggy proposed such a move, that P, J & M could just agree with the move, tell her that they would vote for T-Bone, and vote Ziggy anyway. Regardless, it was worth a shot for Ziggy. She may have got a feeling that they weren’t as strong as they presented. Instead, she seemed to sit back and hope that T-Bone would vote with her. Even when P, J & M went on a targeted offensive at tribal to flip T-Bone like she’s been on a searing BBQ for two minutes, Ziggy still didn’t fight to gain T-Bone’s vote. Instead digging in her heels. And while I won’t say that this is why she went home, without showing any strategic tenacity she was never going to get further. AND SHE (nor anyone) DIDN’T EVEN SEARCH FOR AN IDOL?!?!?! (I assume). Was flipping the right move for T-Bone though?

 

Bonehead

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Just at tribal???

Why is Tara so steadfastly aligned with Ziggy? Does she seriously think she can beat Ziggy in a final two?!?! Incidentally there was a lot of talk about a final three in this episode. Does anyone think this is what will occur this season? Has anybody heard any rumours? Let me know below. Back to T-Bone. For me it was a no-brainer that she should have voted against Ziggy. What now for her? Doesn’t really matter because she can’t win. Based on the numbers I ran last week, the only person she has any possibility of beating is Michelle. With this being the case, I would argue her best play from here, notwithstanding that everybody rightly wants Locky gone, is to propose a final two with Michelle. As the two solid underdogs everybody wants to take them to the final two. Once Locky is gone (hopefully he’ll lose an immunity challenge soon) this scenario would leave Jerkicho and Peter to vie for Michell and T-Bone’s vote. A powerful position to be in. If we are left with a Michelle and T-Bone finale, I will be a very dissatisfied Survivor fan. With this a distinct possibility, what should Jerkicho and Peter be doing to prevent that?

Pearl Jam (P & J, yeah it’s weak I know)

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🎵Jericho spoke in, claaaaaass today🎵

Well, for these two, the best bet is to do the same thing that I’ve proposed above for MT (oh yeah, say those two letters fast and tell me it’s not an apt descriptor for Michelle and Tara!!). To band together against MT (again, once Locky is gone), as I would argue that they are more likely to win immunity than MT, then each of them has to hope they can win the final immunity so they can choose who to take to the end. For Jerkicho, based on last weeks numbers, he can beat them all. Peter should be able to beat MT in a final two.
The possibility that Locky could realistically win every immunity between now and the end is something that should be factored in though. How on earth do you manage that spanner (yes, by spanner I do mean both that this scenario would be a ‘spanner in the works’, and that Locky is a tool)?

Tickle The Boxes

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That he couldn’t see that he was asking of Michelle exactly what he refused to do for Michelle speaks volumes regarding his ego.

“MY GIRLS!!!” This two word utterance from Locky tells you everything you need to know about the chauvinistic, entitled, domineering, arrogant way he has played this game. Fuck me I hope he doesn’t win. I’ll admit that he is very good at challenges, and tonight, unsurprisingly he showed he was good at spinning shit. But that is where any credit I give him ends. He’s shat me since day one, and to be honest has been lucky to make it this far. I’d love for someone out there to count just how many times he voted the wrong way at tribal (let me know below).
Unfortunately, based on last week’s analysis, and now that Ziggy is out of the picture, if he makes the final two at this point, he is a shoo in. So as I’ve alluded to above, the first thought in the minds of the other four is, and should be, getting rid of Locky. Each of these four though also needs to do their best to convince Locky that they will solidly vote with him in the event he continues to win, and hope that he chooses them to take to the end. And I’ll say it one more time just so that nobody could possibly misunderstand, EVERYONE SHOULD BE HUNTING FOR IDOLS!

Before I go I will quickly note how impressed I was with the pressure that P, J & M applied to Tara at tribal council. Without this directed focussed pressure, she arguably would have voted the other way. But P, J & M were savvy enough to realise that if they Turned up the hit on the T-Bone, pretty soon she would be ready to flip.

Well, that ought to be enough from me for now, time to take my antibiotics, put on a Survivor podcast, and drift off to sleep. I got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

 

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Russell Feathers needs your help, especially if you’re an aspie. Do you have a knack for finding typos, spelling, or other grammatical errors? Do you love pointing them out? If you’re one of these hotshit people and have found anything above, please let me know here! (Neurotypicals not excluded)

Episode 20 – ‘Michelle Shocked’ OR ‘Once Bitten, Twice ‘Chelle’

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I’ve easily watched this at least a hundred times since it aired…

Where to start on tonight’s episode? When the highlight of the episode is charades you know there’s not too much strategy to talk about. A snack pack of popcorn chicken is meatier than this episode. Let’s not get in a flap about it though, I fuggin LOVED the charades. I don’t know that I’ve ever laughed so hard at reality television before. Has T-Bone ever seen an octopus or a moth? Well done Channel Ten/Endemol Shine. You’ve really brought your A game to the challenges this season. Although I do question the immunity challenge in this episode. Can anyone tell me if we’ve ever seen this type of head to head tournament for individual immunity before? I don’t like it. It’s much more suited to reward or tribal immunity. Anyway, that’s enough talk about Survivor the show, let’s talk about Survivor the game.

Sarah. Sarah. No Time is a Good Time for Goodbyes

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Actual footage of a cat about to drown.

This result is completely down to Sarah’s social game. Sarah told everyone this episode not to be emotional, but emotional intelligence is exactly what she needed tonight. I’m not suggesting that Sarah is a cold person in general. I don’t know if the stress and the game is getting to her. But a bucket of nuggets could see that Michelle needed more engagement than what Sarah gave her. I don’t want to get into the previous episode too much or I’ll be writing until dawn, but had I posted analysis last night, I would have agreed with Luke’s assessment not to tell Michelle what was happening regarding the Tessa vote. That agreement though would have come with caveats. That either she is told directly before, or at, tribal council, or failing that, that she is bought back into the fold ASAP post tribal council. Now Sarah told us during tribal that she did try talking to Michelle after the decision. The conversation that we did see (THE NEXT DAY!) between Michelle and Sarah was as awkward as the joke T-Bone tried to tell before the reward challenge.

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The reward may have been for KFC, but this was no Zinger…

The conversation basically went the way of Michelle telling her alliance that she felt hurt and betrayed and couldn’t trust them further. To which Sarah responded by coldly trying to tell Michelle why she was wrong, and why this is better for her. You can’t logic someone’s emotions away, it doesn’t work. The only way to change emotion is to connect emotionally. Then once Michelle feels heard to understood, then she can listen to the logic of your plan. Hell, you don’t even need to try and convince her of the logic or the game plan. You need her as a number, let her feel that you’ll do whatever she wants on the next vote. Once it was clear to everyone that Michelle was unhappy and likely to flip, it was game over for Sarah, there was little she could do, the numbers became unassailable. If there was any sentiment in Samatau that they may be willing to vote Michelle, Sarah did not do her best to bolster it. She actually never made a case that it should be Michelle. I guess during tribal she was still trying to hide from Michelle that her name was on the chopping block, but what she should have been doing is undermining Michelle and detailing how unpredictable and emotional she is, and therefore a liability in this game. To be honest though, I don’t think it would have helped. At this stage of the game people will always take out a threat before they take out an easy vote. Particulalry if they can have that easy vote vote with them in future tribals. Tessa made a well-articulated point in the previous tribal. That is that it’s important to understand what is good for your opponents game and what is in their best interests. It seems Sarah completely missed that. Luke and Jerkicho knew it, making it a seven vote landslide against Sarah. The other option she has once she knows her name is on the chopping block (and it seemed pretty clear to her it was) is to present an even juicier target than Michelle or herself, Ziggy. You don’t even need Michelle for that, all you need is Luke, Jerkicho, Tara, and Peter. That could have been worth a shot. Perhaps knowing that Michelle was gunning for her actually did affect her emotionally, and did not allow her to see that there were other moves ahead than retaliating against Michelle.

Big Bash Luke

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GIF captioner got it wrong, what he actually sang was “I know Asaga will get on your nerves”, and he was singing to Michelle…

Luke did somewhat better than Sarah in placating Michelle. Firstly he approached her directly after tribal. During this interaction, unlike Sarah, he engaged with her emotionally, looked her in the eye. It looked like he apologised. And for his part during the above in tent conversation with his alliance, he literally lay down, and let Sarah take the heat. He and Jerkicho were also smart enough to realise that there was no changing her mind, and that voting against her would only damage the relationship they need with her, particularly now that Sarah is gone. So what can they do now? I don’t know that I’ve discussed this before but often thought it; Luke’s strategy seems to be take down whoever he sees as the biggest threat whenever he can. I can’t really argue with that strategy, he’s made it this far, and could actually win the game with it. And I hate to say it, but of the seven players we now have remaining, he’s probably most deserving. Just a smidge above Ziggy. Oh gee that’s a sad thought, considering the caliber of some of the players we started with. Anyway, my point is that I don’t think he considers the ramifications of his actions beyond the immediate. This was clear for the Tessa vote. While I’m sure he sees Sarah as an eventual threat, he needed her for at least one more vote. So I am surprised he didn’t try harder to get the vote off her and try and shift it toward Ziggy as suggested above. I guess it was too late to put in all the work required to pull that off. Anyway, Luke’s and Jerkicho’s best bet now is with both Michelle and Peter in the game, move on Locky and Ziggy. They need to be split, now. Admittedly, if Locky and Ziggy are still around two more votes then they’ll likely turn on each other (again in Ziggy’s case). They can’t wait for this to happen, because I’ve no doubt that Luke and Jerkicho are in Locky’s and Ziggy’s sights. Speaking of Ziggy, how ‘bout that idol play?

Gettin’ Ziggy With(out) It

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Whatever KFC paid to have their products on Survivor, it was worth it for this GIF… K-Fucking Ching

I don’t blame her at all for playing her immunity idol. I think it’s more indicative of her paranoia than it is of any poor game-awareness. Things are at fever pitch, there’s blindside’s coming left, right and centre. While you wouldn’t say that the previous tribal went against her, she was just as blind-sided by it as Tessa was. I’d be jumpy too. Of course she’d be better off keeping it, but I’d much rather look like a fool playing it when I didn’t need to and staying in the game, than not playing it when I had it and being booted out. She’s a target with or without it. Without the safety buffer it affords her though, she really needs a friend. Hello Peter! We really are in a situation where we have power players, and their goats. Locky has Tara (for now). Locky and Jerkicho have Michelle. Peter is a goat without a home. Ziggy can be that home. From there it’s a matter of splitting Luke and Jerkicho, then taking out Locky. Easier said than done, but certainly easier if you have Peter in your pocket. This may not suit Peter though.

Playing it for Himself

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Totes homo

I loved Peter telling Ziggy to play the idol for Michelle. If he was sincere, it does suggest that his maths is not great. Either he suspects that Locky or Tara were voting against Michelle (unlikely), or he played it for the reason I hope he played it for, to make Michelle believe that he is with her. There are very few people he can beat in a tribal council, so he needs to work with Tara and Michelle. As I did last year at around this point, I’ll run through these numbers in more detail in the next post. Before I go though…

“I’m not being emotional, I’m just hurt and pissed off and disappointed”

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….and now we’ve seen The Hangover 4…

Oh Michelle. This is terrible play. She really is blinded by her emotions. Yes, she was left out of a big decision, but now she has one less ally. It’s not all bad though. She hasn’t completely burned her bridges with Luke and Jerkicho. And while Locky and Ziggy will drop her without a second thought once they feel she’s no longer useful, Peter is still an option for her. I can’t even begin to think where T-Bone sits in all this though. I have no idea what her game plan is other than to do whatever Locky says, and if we are to believe the preview for the next episode, then it seems she won’t be doing that much longer anyway. If we believe the preview.

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🎵Let me roll with your body baby, make you feel hot🎵

I think that’s going to have to do for this post. I know I haven’t talked much about Locky, but that’s mostly just because I couldn’t think of a Locky/Loggy pun funny enough to be worthy of inclusion. Perhaps I need to ask T-Bone for some tips. Hopefully Locky is still about after the next episode so that I can spend some time contemplating the future of his game. Until then, I got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Russell Feathers needs your help, especially if you’re an aspie. Do you have a knack for finding typos, spelling, or other grammatical errors? Do you love pointing them out? If you’re one of these hotshit people and have found anything above, please let me know here! (Neurotypicals not excluded)

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OK, just one more… DO DO DO The Funky Gibbon

Episode 18 – ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’ OR ‘Bubbly O’Riley’*

Consensus is never the real fact, and Survivor ain’t Survivor unless you’re up to date with Drop Your Buffs! Check out last night’s analysis here.

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Clinking the ‘air’ champagne glasses…

As a blogger I hate it when Survivor goes to three nights a week. Damn Channel Ten, give a man a chance to sleep. And there was so much going on tonight that I’m sure this will be a long one. But these last two episodes have made it worth it. Two very, very entertaining episodes. Not only were they choc full of meaty strategy, they were full of laugh out loud moments. Particularly when Jerkicho is involved. It’s true, I love to hate him. It will be sad to see him go. Though I expect not as sad as seeing Zenry go tonight.

Behind Blue Eyes

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Dog finally goes downward

All good things come to an end. Certainly our mate has made some genius moves, but has also made some questionable ones. What did Zenry do wrong tonight? Well I would argue that he did nothing wrong this episode. Tonight he was just outplayed, by a tribe working in unison to deceive and not tip their hand. However the roots of this downfall arguably lay in his telling Anneliese he had an idol way back when he moved to Samatau. At the time I thought this was not smart. That it was a late night moment of weakness. I’ve always said that it can be wise to share an idol with someone if you want to solidify a bond. But telling Anneliese this, seemingly in an attempt just to get anyone and everyone on his side, I thought was risky. And then moving against her after having given her this information was not wise. If you’re going to share that information with someone to form a bond, then keep your bond. Only do it if it’s someone that you want to play with long-term, and I don’t think that he had that in mind when he told Anneliese.

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Stoking the fire while fanning the flames..

I was shocked to hear that Michelle knew of his idol and wondered if I’d missed something. Then when it was revealed that Anneliese had told Sarah, the penny dropped. When did that happen? Were we the audience aware of this already? Please fill me in below if that’s the case. It also means that Sarah told Michelle. When did THAT happen?!?! Have there been conversations that I have totally missed?!?! Or is Channel Ten just keeping some important conversations from us to make the game more surprising for viewers, and commentators like me, later? If that’s the case, I’m not sure I like it. Survivor has never kept from us who had the idols and who knew (other than episode 2 this season, where it was kind of the point of the episode, and an anti-climax). Regardless, that Sarah knew and told Michelle reveals so much. At merge we did not know the old Asaga dynamic at all, and as the Two previous episodes have focused on Samatau and the big players, I wasn’t sure where Luke, Jerkicho, Michelle, and Sarah stood and what their game plan was (or is it just that I’m obtuse?). We now know that they are working together, for the moment. And that the Cookie Alliance was not a voting block, or at least not with Zenry. Clearly Sarah, Luke, and Jerkicho are strong right now. And Sarah had a killer night tonight.

Who Are You?

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Sarah, Michelle, Fella (see what I did there?)

That Sarah could trick Zenry into thinking that she was pissed about losing reward (her line “an act to create visible distance between Tess and myself” is pure Survivor poetry), and then play it so cool at tribal, reinforcing to Zenry that she will vote the easy option… Masterclass! If modeling falls through for Sarah, she should give acting a shot. Her manipulation of Jerkicho was delicious. Sweeter than jam on a cookie, chased with champagne.
Incidentally I did really love the imagery of seeing Zenry stoke the fire while he was trying to inflame Sarah’s bitterness of being left out of the Champagne reward.
I hate to say this because it looks like I’m just floating from favourite to favourite here, and while we haven’t seen her be quite this tactical and manipulative before, I think we always suspected she had it in her, and is now in a great position. Especially as it doesn’t at all look like this was her move. To others it looks like this move was orchestrated by Luke, Tess, and Michelle. If she makes it to final tribal it would behoove her to convince the jury that she was behind the move to get Zenry out. But for now she can let everyone think that it was the others. Stay under the radar, and let the threats take the heat. If she really has Michelle in her pocket she needs to keep her there, because Luke and Jerkicho aren’t going to stick with Sarah once their backs are against the wall. If she can also cultivate a relationship with T-Bone, I think she will come in useful for Sarah in the future. I have been high on Sarah here, but I need to give Tess some credit too.

(Pin)Ball Wizard

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I was hoping the jam on those breakfast eclairs brought back talk of #jamgate

Great job winning immunity Tessa. I’m not even going to make a ball joke. Great job with your pick for reward companion. You said it yourself, Michelle is an emotional voter. If you didn’t know that before the previous episode, I’m glad that you’ve learnt that now. More on the auction later, I will quickly say now how hard it is under pressure to pick a reward companion. She couldn’t have chosen much better tonight. I wonder if that was her plan once the auction started. Where to for Tess now? Great question. In some ways I think she was lucky tonight that the old Asaga alliance had the same target she did. I don’t think she’ll be so lucky in future. What to do though with this knowledge that old Asaga want the big players out? Two options; continue to work with old Asaga to take them out of the game buying you at least two tribals, or work with Ziggy and Locky to keep them around as a shield. Which of these is better for Tess long term? At the moment my head is saying Ziggy needs to go sooner rather than later. With an immunity idol under her belt (is Locky the only other one that knows this?), and being stronger and more likeable than Locky, she is a way bigger threat. I would be doing whatever I could to get her out of the game as soon as possible. For Tessa she needs to find a way to do it that doesn’t perpetuate the idea in Locky that Tessa is gunning for them. I suggest use Michelle again. Michelle already mentioned during champagne alliance night that Locky was second on her list. Just nudge her a little, and stay out of the firing line. If she gets the chance to do so surreptitiously she should try and convince Locky that she is with him. Vote with him two or three tribals from now to remove Sarah or Luke, then flip back to work with Jerkicho and Michelle to get through to the end. Though I can’t see either Jerkicho or Michelle winning this game, I do wonder what they should be doing to get as far as they can.

Gimme Shelter (I know, it’s not The Who, but it’s close, and fits our episode)

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Is it wrong to get someone drunk on Survivor to find out who has the idol? 

I mentioned above that Michelle will likely be influenced by Tessa and gun for Locky now. Is that the right move for her though? If Locky were smart he’d do the same as Tess and try and take her under his wing. She’s already shown him that she will follow him (the Anneliese vote) if she feels lost. So if we suppose that Locky and Tess are her two options, which way is best for her? I feel like this requires more thinking than I have in me tonight. Especially if we throw Sarah into the mix. My first instinct is that both Sarah and Tess will see her value as a goat and are more likely to use her to get to the end and potentially take her with them. Locky on the other hand is too tight with Ziggy, and much more likely to throw Michelle under the balls when it suits him, preferring to take T-Bone to the end. So Michelle should go with both Tess and Sarah until they target one another, and reassess then.

The Kid’s All Right (well, not really but I’m running out of The Who songs here)

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🎵…but my mum won’t admit it…🎵 (some The Who cuts are deeper than others)

I’ve said in previous posts that Jerkicho won’t win. I stand by that. There’s still value in considering his options though. Sticking with Luke seems a no-brainer, I see no reason at this stage to suggest turning on that alliance. If I know Jerkicho (and I don’t) I think he’ll actually do just that pretty soon. I do suggest doing it before the end as he’ll never beat him at final tribal. Jerkicho’s only bet to win is to go against Tara or Michelle (or maybe even Peter) at final tribal. His only way to get there is to stay strong with Luke. Take out Ziggy ASAP. Then work towards getting Tess or Pete out, then move against Sarah before she tries to split you and Luke up. From there you need to get the lay of the land with where Locky is and where Tess or Pete is, and move whichever way is going to get yourself and Luke closer to a final four with Tara and Michelle. This is the plan for Luke too, however Luke isn’t quite as limited as to who he can beat in a final two and therefore doesn’t have quite as narrow a path to the end.

My Generation

 

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Locky can’t explain…

This game seems to be changing so much from episode to episode. Last episode it looked that Locky and Ziggy were in a powerful position. At that point we didn’t know that old Asaga were so tight. We know better now and, it’s clear that Locky and Ziggy are now in a sticky situation. I suggest they have two options from here; attempt to align with Pete and Tess (and T-Bone) giving them the numbers to take out old Asaga, or try and convince old Asaga that Tess is a bigger threat than they are. Both of these options will only get them so far and the reality is that the rest of the tribe will want to split the two of them up. I think they should stick together if they continue to win immunity, after that the best bet is for each of them to try and remove the other the first chance they get. Neither will take the other to the final two, and either of them is a shot to win the final immunity challenge, so it’s too risky to take the other even to the final three.

Sub-sti-tute! My Cash For Food

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Tears. Tears every single time. 

I love Auction and this is one of the most fun, and most perplexing, I’ve witnessed. Firstly, the twist. Great! Provided a lot of fun watching Luke take all that food, and other advantage. Also has the effect of motivating future players to bid early rather than hold on to their cash waiting for idols/advantages/home and family contact. Speaking of home contact, I was surprised that we had this so soon after letters from home, but I wasn’t complaining. It had me bawling as usual. I watched the episode twice and was sobbing both times. I suspect that if I ever get to play the game, as much as I think I’d want to stay strong and hold out bidding until an advantage or idol clue or something comes up (depending on how comfortable I feel), I just know that the second a phone call is mentioned I couldn’t help myself. I would be all in. All chips on the table. What I do wonder is which is the better advantage; the challenge advantage, or the reward meal/night with guests? Both options have pros and cons. I really am bum-puzzled about which is the more beneficial. What would you pick and why? Let me know in the comments. I was surprised no one seemed to be looking for idols or clues on their night away. I thought for sure there’d be at least a clue there after two were played the night before. This time last year in the same reward there was no idol or clue so that seems to be a pattern for us here in Australia.

What Zenry did was part of the game. What Jerkicho did here was just spiteful and malicious.

I was perplexed by those who players who didn’t bid on food. I expected they were therefore waiting for advantage or home/family contact. Why did they not bid as high as they could out of the gate when those things came up? Maybe they were not that familiar with how the auction worked. I’m not sure how I feel about the drawing rocks solution to multiple max bids. Usually it’s first in with a max bid gets the spoils. That one person could lose all their money and not get anything, even when they knew what they were bidding on, seems unfair on the face of it. I’ll let my thinking on this gestate for a little before I make up my mind though. What are your thoughts? I can’t finish this post and this section on the auction without taking the opportunity to once again underline an instance of Jerkicho being a jerk. Making Tess work for her reward when he could never outbid her. We know who the real ‘Mothertrucker is tonight’. What Zenry did was playing the game. What Jerkicho did here was just spiteful and malicious. Just a jerk, jerk move. It made me feel better when he made like George W. Bush and stuffed up the ‘fool me once…’ adage…

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Oh no he di’nt…

And now, I can finally get some sleep. Three nights a week is a killer. Four next week if Aus Survivor is three nights again and you count US Survivor. As much as I’d love to there’s no way I can post about US Survivor as well as Australian. That would almost be a full-time job! And I’m afraid I’m not in a position where burley men in baseball caps give me envelopes of money with which to buy food. I have to actually work for my money.

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Oh he did. He really did.

One thing I will take time to write about though, hopefully before the end of the season, is an entire post on Henry’s game. I’d really love to take the time to break down all of the moves he made and see where the value is and what to avoid. Even though he didn’t get to the end, I’m not convinced that his flip to Samatau was a bad move. He threw so much at the game there’s a lot to chew on and I think it will be an interesting exercise. Tell me what you think and stay tuned. Until next week, I got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

*You may or may not have noticed that this post is full of links to songs by The Who (and one by The Rolling Stones). Did you find them all?! Unfortunately I couldn’t add links to the references in the title so here they are: ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again‘, ‘Bubbly O’Riley‘.

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs Channel Ten)

Russell Feathers needs your help, especially if you’re an aspie. Do you have a knack for finding typos, spelling, or other grammatical errors? Do you love pointing them out? If you’re one of these hotshit people and have found anything above, please let me know here! (Neurotypicals not excluded)

Episode 7 – ‘Straight Shooting’ or ‘Feeling the Sting’

If you’re confused about the commotion in the ocean, still those waters by reading how we got here in the previous analysis.

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How many times can I type ‘totes homo’ this season?

At least Channel Ten weren’t overhyping it this time when they told us we would have a showdown. Personally I’m happy that Mark left. He wasn’t my cup of tea. Ultimately the better man (and woman) won.There’s not much aside from this battle worth talking about, but let’s get muddy and break down why Zenry and Jacqui prevailed.

Revenge is a Dish Worst Served by a Cold Fish

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There’s one or two ladies and men out there that will take more than an inch if you’re offering Mark

Mark said it himself. He’s a quiet guy. Unfortunately in this game that can come off as analytical, arrogant and aloof. It became crystal clear during tribal just how different this was to the way Zenry came across. I’m glad that ComMarkDo got direct. Not only was it entertaining but, suspecting that the tribe could go either way he really had nothing to lose. All he did though was throw shade at Jacqui and Henry, trying to undermine them and at the same time talk himself up. Zenry on the other hand, took a different approach. None of the words out of Zenry’s mouth were attacks on Mark, but instead were positive and reassuring to his alliance. He spoke of trust and relationships, not secrets and lies. I know that since episode two I’ve been unfavourable in my comments on the way he and Jacqui have carried themselves around camp. This was echoed tonight when Luke said “it’s no secret that (they) are an alliance”. But I definitely got a good vibes from them during the tribal tonight. Their argument against, particulalry Zenry’s, came across as sincere and non-threatening. He was honest about having a ‘mother/son’ relationship with Jacqui, and spoke of having equitable relationships with other tribemates. Ultimately if you’re in that tribal and are still having second thoughts about who to vote against, based on tribal performance alone you’re going to be more comfortable keeping Zenry than ComMarkDo. Asaga have been dealing with these two personalities for nearly twenty days, and if their behaviour in those twenty days was anything like it was during this tribal, it’s clear that Zenry is playing a better game socially. This was something that a few loose words from Luke was not going to change.

Loose Ends

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The Brown Hornet (Luke) and his bumbling offsider (#stretchyreference) 

Oh shit Jericho and Luke! You boys are on the out now. Incidentally nice work from Jericho (savour this Jericho, it’s unlikely you’ll get positive words from me again) in holding the anti-vengeance line during tribal and not tipping his hand. But what happened here tonight speaks to how little awareness these two have of their tribal dynamics. Lucifer Luke we know does shit just to stir shit up, which is never a good play. I don’t see any strategy in what he does other than to create chaos. He’s like a firebug. Gaining a sense of power by performing senseless acts that get reactions.

 

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Actual footage of Luke joining Mark’s alliance

He’s funny, but I don’t care for his gameplay. And it seems neither do the rest of Asaga, other than Jerkicho. Ugh, I can’t even. And the preview for next episode looks like Jerkicho is going full Brandon Hantz because he doesn’t get his way. I have zero time for this. It’s neither stimulating nor intriguing. I’ll be glad when I don’t have to look at him again. What can they do though to move past this? Well, don’t do what it looks like Jerkicho is doing and sabotaging camp. I’d like to think that the best both of them can do is get back to Zenry and Jacqui, apologise, lay low and hope that Michelle and Ben don’t ingratiate themselves any further. However I do believe there is a chance they could flip things their way though. We still don’t know where Odette, Ben, and Michelle really stand. And I get the feeling Sarah is keeping her options open. These people didn’t flip when it came to the Mark vote, but could they flip on Zenry and Jacqui?

Under the Water, Under the Radar

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Off the Mark…

The more I think about this the more I see that the best move for these real misfits is to flip on Jacqui and Zenry shortly. Of course they don’t know there’s an idol involved. I was excited to hear about that this episode, I’d completely forgotten. Idol notwithstanding, it makes sense to start the whispers about breaking them up. Mark’s parting words have laid the foundation, so if you’re Asaga you can bring it up in that context without it coming across as your own great strategic idea. If you’re the BOMS (Ben, Odette, Michelle, Sarah) which duo do you target first? Zenry and Jacqui, or, Jerkicho and Lucifer Luke (they give JL a bad name)? Zenry and Jacqui are more strategic, but Jerkicho and Luke are unpredictable. Hmmm, I don’t have an answer for this, I’m going to think on it some more. Regardless I would argue that the BOMS are now in a power position if they can get their shit together and get on the same page. Can’t end talking Asaga without acknowledging Sarah’s play this episode. The way she talked with Luke and made him feel comfortable was sublime.

Flaky Relations

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Sharks don’t generally make it past episode 10 anyhow…

Again not much from Samatau tonight. Nothing seems to have changed for them. Locky and T-Bone are still trying to work together to create a coup. As discussed two posts ago I consider their best move is to target each other. I guess they’ve at least got to make it look to one another that they still want to play together. Good luck working on Ziggy. I’m glad we got to see more from her tonight and know that she too is considering her options rather than floating along with the majority alliance. I don’t imagine that she’s going to split from the main alliance yet. Certainly not at eight. Come seven though, if it gets that far before a merge/shuffle, I can definitely see her shifting if she can get someone else to shift with her. I don’t know enough about Jarrad and Peter yet to know if they would. I can actually see Tess and Ziggy making a move together at seven if Samatau gets that far.

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I’m claiming this as a personal shout-out from Australian Survivor

That’s all I got time for tonight. Damn Monday nights with your Survivor and your Thrones and your Q&A. It’s too much for a man to handle. At least they dispensed with reward challenge tonight. I hope that becomes a regular Monday episode thing. Though maybe next time they wont make up for that with 30 mins at tribal council. Until next week, I got nothing else for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

(Most memes and non-Survivor gifs created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and Survivor gifs Channel Ten)

Russell Feathers needs your help, especially if you’re an aspie. Do you have a knack for finding typos, spelling, or other grammatical errors? Do you love pointing them out? If you’re one of these particularly gifted people and have found anything above, please let me know here! (Neurotypicals not excluded)

Episode 1 – ‘Welcome (Back) to the Jungle’ OR ‘Paradise Shitty’

We’re Back and Ready for Round 2

So it begins. In a move which one might imagine is in response to fans’ complaints of last season, we have a cast of true game players. In my last post I argued that this was not necessarily a good thing, so far I stand by that (aren’t I just the contrarian?!). Being a first episode there’ll be little to talk about strategy wise here, so it might be a short post. Regardless, let’s make like Jarrad and hold on to our sacks, hopefully it will be a fun ride.

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I’m no expert at making friends but I’m pretty sure you don’t start by asking “are you homosexual” in the first hour…

Movers and Shankers?

While there was much argument last season that there were too few ‘superfans’, it seems that this season every other player has a gimmick. While I’m not here to critique casting choices, I will critique strategy. Most obviously in my cross-hairs is of course Henry. Mother Hen? Zenry? (Cast your vote for nickname in the comments). The faux yoga teacher. Let’s put aside for now that in his piece to camera he tells us that he’s shocked no one has ever lied about their vocation before (makes me think he’s no fan at all), to be fair we didn’t learn anything about him tonight other than that part of his strategy. Which it seems is the strategy of many of our contestants in 2017. Not that I’m knocking the play as such. But to call it a master strategy? It’s a minor tactic at best. Let’s look at the players in the past who have done well with this strategy, the most prominent of whom being Tony Vlachos. I think we can all agree that Tony’s ploy to hide his vocation was not the factor that led to his success. Let’s look at all of the players who’ve hidden or disguised their vocation and not done as well as Tony. Bianca, episode 2 boot. Evan, episode 3 boot. Did Phoebe hide what she did? If she did it didn’t seem to help her. I believe Andrew hid that he was a ‘superfan’, might have helped but wasn’t enough. And that’s just the players from the last Australian season who’ve tried this tactic or something similar. There’s a list of non-performers from US seasons. Even the first boot from the NZ season hid her fandom.

Covert Unintelligence

How many players do we have here that are hiding their background? Aside from Yin Yang Hank, I count Mark W., and Tara (dear reader let me know if there’s anyone missing from this list). Seriously Tara? You think that people knowing you’re a barrel racer would disadvantage you? I didn’t even know it was a thing until 30 mins ago!

 

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I don’t know Jacqui, have you met my ex-wife?

Back to Halasana Henry (it’s a yoga pose, again, vote below). I’m not quite sure what his reasoning is here anyway. Is he just trying to hide that he’s a labourer? Are labourers inherently Survivor threats? Perhaps the idea is just that he’s going to pretend to be a really cool, friendly, easygoing guy. Not really sure that that’s something you can fake. Just ask AK47 (someone was going to do it, might as well be me). Or as I like to call him, Male Rebel Wilson. MRW.

Finding the Dickhead…

These guys. These fuggin guys. So many dickheads. Of course I don’t know these people outside of the show and they’re possibly great people, but so far, they’re acting like dickheads (or at best it’s being edited that way).

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Hey caption guy, you spelled ‘douchebag’ incorrectly.

MRW. AKA, AK (A!!) Your faux gentlemanliness might help you pick up drunk bridesmaids (or more likely not), but dude this is not a coolness party. Dial it back. I’m imagining his final tribal speech now. Everyone is blown away when he reveals that he doesn’t actually have any gay friends *insert dramatic reveal music*!!! (Is that because he doesn’t have any friends at all?). The lying about gay friends takes the prize for most dickhead comment of the evening. I hope he can dial it back for his sake. If he doesn’t I suspect he’s not long for this world. As of right now, you’re dickhead number one. I should know, I learned all about it from Fat Fiscal Superman. AKA Kent.

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AK does his best wedding singer impression, “Julia Gulia are you sure there isn’t any rum in that Coca Cola?

…In a Sea of Dickheads

IMG_2116Is the sarcasm filtering though here? Please keep making dickhead moves like this, we love it. Next on our dickhead list is Jericho the Jesus Jerk. OK, fair enough we haven’t really seen much of him tonight, but he did possibly say the second most dickheaded comment of the night. I’m paraphrasing but essentially it was ‘in my life I live a strong Christian faith, but in this game there will be bloodshed! *maniacal laugh*’. His strong Christian faith is so strong that he hasn’t read enough of the bible to know that is chock full of slaughter, or enough history books to realise that the Christian faith is responsible for more bloodshed on this planet than any other doctrine, nazism included. I’m getting political, but so I should. If Australian Survivor wants to shine a light spirituality/religiosity, then of course I’m going to respond. Anyway, other than myself, there was of course one more dickhead of note as dickheadedness is not solely a male phenomenon.

Oh Baby. Baby…

She’s not your typical sheila. She’s a knockaround, drink a slab with the boys, call a spade a spade, fair dinkum Aussie rootrat. Seriously Survivor? This is where we’re going in 2017, ocker gender stereotypes? Again, we didn’t see much of Aimee tonight, but the little introduction we did have made it into our dickhead quotable quotes. So quotable that I’m not going to quote it but I will paraphrase. Essentially she said ‘when I tell people I’m a plumber, they’re like, “nah, you must be a hairdresser”, and I’m like “nah, I’m a plumber”‘. Aimee if you’re seriously telling people that you’re a plumber and they’re responding with disbelief and suggesting that you must be a hairdresser, then you must talking to true, died in the wool, fuckin dickheads. Who are these idiots that respond like this? To be fair to you, the dickheadedness on display here does not belong to you. I’m sincerely sorry if that’s you’re experience. I don’t find it laughable at all, and it saddens me that you dismiss it as humour. I hope that you don’t have to experience that again in the future.

Other Notable Moments

We’ve already noted use of the word ‘dickhead’ tonight and I’m really happy that Survivor has not been afraid to use such language. It was particularly refreshing to hear Jacqui use the word ‘tits’. IMG_2117And in the opening moments too. Really set the tone. Is that a Survivor first? Somebody please make a meme of Jacqui saying ‘tits’, I’ll be forever in your debt.

 

 

I don’t feel like we’ll have to talk through the challenge and lead up to tribal, there’s little to discuss other than the challenge was fun, but took too much airtime for my liking. Time that could have been spent showing us whether or not there was an advantage on the barge at the start. I’d be surprised if no one had the sense to look for one, I would have liked to see that. Incidentally, while we’re on the barge, you can’t call it a twist in the first challenge if you are just explaining the rules of the challenge. That’s not a twist, that’s explaining the rules of the challenge. I’ll wager a large booty that this is not the first time Australian Survivor lies about a twist this season though.

 

My viewing buddy and I looked at each other when Joan told us she was the puzzle queen and recognised that they very much sounded like famous last words. Not sure what to make of Ben flipping his vote to Joan on the revote. We don’t know enough about him or any alliances/factions/voting blocks at this stage to understand the strategy behind it. Perhaps there was no strategy.

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Must say I was a little shocked that there dind’t seem to be much made of sending two people off to the fire challenge. As we discussed last season, if ever there’s a situation where the tribe has to pick one or more emissaries you do not want to be one of those people. There’s too great a possibility it will not work out for you, as we saw for Mark H. He took this hard. Just as Kent and Joan took it hard when they put their hands up for the puzzle.

There wasn’t enough lime farmer this episode. Wait, that’s not true, there was more time with Tarzan this episode than there was Jared Lipnicki in Jerry Maguire!

All in all, I must say I’m extremely happy with the episode though. Yes I’ve talked a lot about the dickheads that I loathe. But as I discussed at length last post, that’s what we love about Survivor. Talking with our friends and the community about the dickheads, gaining pleasure in their failures, feeling superior when they make a stupid move or say something ridiculous, telling everyone how we would do it SO much better. If anything I hope that these losers would calm down just a little bit, we don’t want them all to go home in the first third of the season and have a lacklustre period like we did last year. We’ve certainly got a cast of fabulous characters, time will tell if we have a cast of fantastic contestants.

Until tomorrow, that’s all I’ve got for you, head back to camp.

– Russell Feathers

 

(Most memes created by Russell Feathers, most everything else and all gifs channel ten)